sábado, 12 de novembro de 2016

Revisitando Dragões (Parte 1 - Despedidas e Reencontros)


As belas escamas verde-azuladas refulgiram contra o firmamento, pouco depois que o enorme dragão alçou seu voo, da clareira ao pé do laranjal.

O velho homem fica a acompanhar, com o olhar, seu sensato e alado amigo, que vai desaparecendo, na tranquilidade do céu de Verão, enquanto ganha, aos poucos, a distância.

O homem sorri, um tanto tristemente, já com uma certa saudade a contundir seu peito e leva a mão à bolsa de couro, cuja alça lhe cruza o peito. Com as pontas dos dedos ele apalpa umas poucas frutas que lá se encontram e sente-se, de uma maneira estranha, confortado.

Atrás de si, um menino, de não mais que nove anos e um outro homem, adulto, também observam a trajetória alada do dragão, que vai tornando-se quase invisível, entre as finas nuvens, que mais parecem flocos de algodão, a decorar a larga abóbada azul celeste, aberta sobre suas cabeças.

Um fino fio de fumaça sobe do meio da clareira e dispersa-se no ar. O velho não sabe se lamenta ou se regozija com aquele momento em que suas vidas devem voltar ao normal, ou, pelo menos, o mais próximo possível da normalidade. Os últimos tempos passaram por sua mente e ele, apesar das dificuldades que superou, sentiu uma certa nostalgia.

Ele havia mudado, com toda a certeza. Já não era nem parecido com aquele homem que chegara há muito tempo a aquele lugar, cansado, derrotado e com mais que seu orgulho profundamente ferido, além de uma grande cicatriz a marcar-lhe o peito e a lembrar-lhe de sua condição de ser humano frágil e vulnerável.

A magia daquele lugar pareceu-lhe, de repente, haver desaparecido de vez. Restava-lhe a magia da vida e as surpresas que o existir pode, eventualmente, esconder. O som dos regatos gémeos, a correrem muito próximos, fê-lo sentir-se cansado e, ao mesmo tempo, relaxado.

O velho despediu-se do homem e do menino e caminhou para aquilo a que conseguia chamar de lar: uma caverna adaptada, com um despojamento evidente. Ele, na verdade não precisava mais que aquilo, mas decidiu que ia construir um casebre simples e nele viver, como um fazendeiro normal.

No meio da clareira, onde as cinzas de uma certa laranjeira ainda cobriam o chão, ele elevou seu novo lar, pacientemente e sem pressa nenhuma, por semanas a fio.

Quando reinstalou-se, sentiu que sua vida anterior fosse apenas uma memória, que ficava cada vez mais distante e nebulosa. Ali era, agora, seu lar e era onde ele sentia-se mais aconchegado e seguro, mas o velho sentiu que, com aquela decisão, ele estava, na verdade, a plantar, em definitivo, suas raízes. Até bem pouco tempo atrás, esperava ansiosamente pelo momento em que iria voltar para sua vida de cavaleiro. O tempo passou em seu ritmo próprio e ele sentiu que estava mais próximo da vida de agricultor que de cavaleiro, além de já não ter forças nem ânimo para combates, banquetes ou a vida fútil que outrora vivia. De uma certa forma, sentia-se mais útil e ligado a aquele lugar, do que em qualquer outro, mas sentia a falta de algo, que ele não sabia descrever.

E veio a noite mais escura do ano.

E ele pôs-se a pensar e sentiu falta de seu amigo alado. A grande cicatriz latejou no peito. Ele tentou ignorar, mas não conseguiu. Tentou dormir, mas não sentia sono. Resolveu levantar-se e apanhar um pouco de ar.

Lá fora, uma brisa fresca trazia o perfume das folhas e frutas do pomar que lhe dava sustento. Ele aspirou o ar lenta e profundamente. A vida daquele lugar pareceu pulsar-lhe como sangue nas veias. Ele foi à beira do ponto onde os dois regatos gémeos uniam-se e lavou o rosto com a água fresca e límpida. A cicatriz latejou novamente. Ele passou a mão molhada pelo peito e sentiu um pouco de alívio. Fazia tempo que ele não experimentava aquela sensação. Sentou-se sobre uma grande pedra, como já havia feito tantas vezes e ficou a olhar a escuridão à sua frente, ouvindo o som tranquilo das águas dos regatos.

Estava perdido em suas tantas recordações, quando ouviu um som atrás de si. Seus sentidos entraram, imediatamente, em alerta. Pensando ser um animal qualquer tentando chegar à água, ele voltou-se e esperou em silêncio.

A noite sem lua, escura como breu, não permitia que ele visse nada, mas tinha a forte sensação que não estava só. Seus ouvidos treinados, atentos, tentavam distinguir algum sinal.

Silêncio… Nada mais que um tenso silêncio na escuridão da noite. Ela não podia ter-se enganado… Será que seus ouvidos o enganaram? Era apenas mais um sinal da idade? Ou seria um desejo e um delírio de nostalgia?

Ele resolveu que deveria voltar para casa. Se fosse mesmo um animal sedento, ele deveria deixar o caminho livre e permitir que a vida levasse seu curso normal, sem que ele assustasse um ser vivo em necessidade. O regato não era seu. Ela não tinha o direito de impedir a vida de continuar.

Saltou da rocha e começou a caminhar de volta, convencido de estar enganado e disposto a tentar dormir. O perfume das laranjas era familiar e evidente. Ele sorriu e apressou o passo, sem olhar para trás.

Quando pisou no alpendre, ainda voltou-se um pouco e tentou ouvir os sons da noite.

Nada.

Ele entrou na casa e acendeu uma lamparina. Seus olhos pousaram sobre a fruteira no centro da mesa. Uma laranja muito dourada, que ele conhecia muito bem, jazia por cima das outras. Ele sabia que não a havia posto ali. A fruta era perfeita e parecia reluzir. Ele levou a mão à fruteira e apanhou a grande laranja.

Mais por instinto que por necessidade, ele abriu-a e comeu a metade da mesma. O sabor muito peculiar, doce e ácido, trouxe-lhe memórias, que estavam adormecidas há muito. O homem sorriu. Sabia o que estava fazendo e as consequências daquele ato aparentemente inocente.

Foi então que ele ouviu um ruído pouco familiar atrás de si. O chão pareceu estremecer por baixo de seus pés descalços e ele sentiu o corpo ficar tenso, como se pronto a  lutar, como no seu passado… pela própria vida...

Ele olhou para trás e viu, através da porta aberta, dois grandes fachos de luz amarela a refulgirem na espessa obscuridade daquela noite singular. Seu coração deu um salto e ele correu para fora.

- Olá, meu bom amigo. Senti saudades tuas...

O animal piscou, lentamente, seus grandes olhos amarelos e aproximou-se do homem, abaixando a cabeça para ser tocado, como se fosse o cumprimento mais natural do mundo. De facto, entre eles, era…

O velho estendeu a mão e deu a outra metade da laranja ao dragão, que comeu-a de imediato. A magia daquele encontro não programado começava naquele momento…

***

- Há uma força poderosamente maléfica agindo no Universo, neste momento. Aquele menino corre grande perigo e nós temos que protegê-lo a todo custo.

- Mas, por que ele? É apenas uma criança…Tem pouco mais de oito anos…

- Porque ele conhece o poder dos dragões. Como foi medicado com as lágrimas de cada um dos sete e com uma gota do meu sangue, a magia faz parte dele, desde então. A energia que está a crescer naquela criança é inimaginável, embora ele ainda não tenha consciência disso, mas o grande dragão pardo sabe muito bem e, por isso, pretende destruí-lo, antes que ele se torne mais poderoso ainda, com o passar do tempo…

O velho olhou o amigo, muito seriamente. A lembrança clara do momento em que foi revelado ao menino o valor que ele tinha para os dragões, veio-lhe como um raio. Uma boa dose de melancolia fisgou-lhe o peito, onde uma cicatriz marcava o desfecho de uma batalha antiga.

No meio do laranjal, o dragão verde-azulado dirigia-se ao menino.

- Este é o nosso outro presente. A água que tu tomaste, ali na clareira, antes de vires para o laranjal, continha uma lágrima de cada um de nós. Sete lágrimas foram adicionadas àquela água, para te proteger. O óleo que foi usado na massagem em tuas pernas contém raspas de dentro do casulo que gerou o dragãozinho negro, que simboliza a força de espírito e uma gota do sangue do dragão que representa a esperança… Nós nos referimos a ti, particularmente, como “o guardião” e temos muito orgulho de assim te chamar.

A mente do velho homem voltou ao presente...

- Ele tem que saber disso. Como vamos protegê-lo?

- Pensei em muitas hipóteses, mas ele precisa ser treinado. Ainda tens a armadura?

- Deixei-a na caverna… para o caso de necessidade… mas o tamanho é muito grande para ele…

O dragão encarou o velho homem e falou, muito gravemente:

- Dá-se um jeito. Esta é, definitivamente, uma necessidade…

O homem balançou a cabeça, afirmativamente. Os novos desafios e perigos apenas começavam para aqueles personagens cujas vidas estiveram, sempre, tão interligadas entre si.

- Vou buscar a armadura e a espada…


domingo, 30 de outubro de 2016

Birds In Love


- I think I have fallen in love.

- Seriously?

She blushed. To me, she was still that little girl I saw growing up, who used to run fearless through the house and used to sing the lyrics of songs invented by herself, each time in a different way and that left us astonished and giggling, before her early cleverness...

- Very seriously!

- Is he good for you? Does he respect you and make you feel good?

She looked at me thoughtfully, hesitated for a millisecond and answered.

- Yes.

- So I can only support you, of course, my love.

She smiled and hugged me, whispering a 'thank you' to my ear, as if my support would make a difference in how she felt or to what she wanted. It certainly lightened a huge emotional burden with my approval but could not change her feelings.

She kissed my cheek and ran out of the door, to 'dunno-where'...

I watched the way she looked radiant. She was almost floating with such happiness. Before leaving the gate, she still turned around and waved me a funny goodbye with a huge grin on her youthful face. I smiled and waved back at her, noticing finally that she had fully grown and blossomed. Youth is such a wonderful stage of life.

I watched the empty gate after she disappeared in the distance and thought about my own life.

Behind me, the words of a known song playing, seemed to poke my heart with a certain almost intentional cruelty. My memories were always so associated with music and many meaningful songs, I could hardly control my emotions, every time I heard something that had somehow marked my life.

... I wish you, I wish you, I wish you all the best

    I'll miss you, I'll miss you, I'll miss you not the least ... *


***

- Dad?

- Yes, my love...

- Who was the greatest love of your life?

The question caught me off guard. I played with the answer, to gain some time.

- It was Ginger.

She laughed.

- I should have waited for that answer, but I mean it. Ginger was undoubtedly a great love, but I was talking about a person, not the cat.

- Ginger was more than a cat. He was a great companion, my love...

- Dad?

I smiled. I knew she was not going to give up without receiving an acceptable response. Her eyes seemed like two big balls of dark glass. I pretended I did not notice...

- Yes, my love.

- Who was it? I mean it!

- I do not know if there was the 'greatest love' of my life...

- Oh! Really? And mom?

I looked at the serious face of my little girl and I answered truthfully.

- She was truly a great passion and she gave me you, who are my greatest gift of life. It is true that I had many other passions, but to be the greatest love, it cannot be a one-sided thing, is not it?

- Not necessarily. If that made you feel loved; if it was intense; if it made you dream and feel special and somehow a better person... If that brought out the best of you...

- So much wisdom in such a young creature...

She laughed awkwardly, with her cheeks blushing slightly. I recognized that time had transformed that little girl into a young and wise woman and I thanked heaven for that. She was radiant and her happiness made her shine and had some grip on me too.

But she was right. Who else could make us happy, but ourselves, even for a few moments? Is this not the true meaning of love - to make us spring and bloom from the inside out?

I had learned, however, that neither the small nor the great love survives the distance or the lack of reciprocity or even worse, the lies. Sooner or later these things come up to the surface and destroy the good things the feelings used to keep in ourselves. The masks fall off, the truth appear, the time and distance cool down our links and the affections fade to the point where the thread of tenderness finally breaks forever and what was everything turns into only a destroyed illusion and a sad and harsh reality of broken expectations...

Even worse is when that love turns into hatred or contempt or other feeling as bad as these. Instead of being happy for what was good, we feel bad about what no longer exists.
  
How could I tell her that my heart had many very intense passions, but I could never reveal they have ever existed? For all practical purposes, those were just ‘affairs' that never happened. For all practical purposes, they were passions that only mattered to me and no one else... unilaterally. That sad but that true...

- Well, I think this is the greatest love of my life.

- I'm glad for you, my love. I'm sure it can only do you good. It seems like you've seen a blue bird!

- It's green, dad! Green Birdie!

I laughed. She laughed too. That was a little joke we were used to. A 'private joke' only ours.

- My little love, never let people, who do not know your history, interfere in your love life. Your life is only of interest to you and no one else...

- I know, Dad.

- And be careful not to hurt yourself. The heart sees through glasses that reason does not wear.

Even knowing better than anyone that a person in love does not listen to advices like those, as consistent as they may be, I could not help but give them.

I knew that what mattered most was the voice of the heart and the way we live intensely...

"May it be eternal while it lasts," as the poet used to say...

And how would I know if she was right or not in defining that as "the" love of her life, if I was not living what she was? In the end, I just wanted her to be happy.


***

- Are you nervous?

- No! You?

- A little worried.

- I understand. But don’t worry. No one will notice if something goes out of your plans. Everything is part of the process.

She seemed to absorb those words with confidence. Whatever happen would not ruin the brightness of that day. Only the closest people were present and there was no reason for worries. Her simplicity and charisma were enough to make her shine, but she was less aware of that than I was.

- Go there. Now it's just a matter of facing it and go ahead!

She was, so to speak, marking her birthday with a very important and courageous decision.

When she returned, dressed as if for the most memorable occasion of her life, until then, she looked stunning and nervous at the same time. She had sparkles in her eyes that left no doubt about the purpose of that decision.

At her side, the love of her life smiled, fingers entwined in hers, as happy and gorgeous as my little girl.

The two formed an exceptionally smooth and beautiful couple, that was, at the same time, strong and fearless, like two brave amazons.

I smiled and opened my arms and the two girls fell into my fatherly embrace. At the foot of their ears I said quietly:

- You are two warrior goddesses! Be very, very happy!

The two lovers embraced me and kissed my cheeks. They were blessed.

What would come forward from there, were battles for the two to face together...



* (Benjamin Clementine's "The Movies Never Lie")


domingo, 23 de outubro de 2016

Pássaros Azuis


- Acho que estou apaixonada.

- A sério?

Ela corou. Para mim, era ainda a menininha que eu vi crescer, que corria pela casa e que cantava as letras das canções inventadas por ela mesma, cada vez de um modo diferente e que nos deixava atônitos e a dar risadas, diante da esperteza dela…

- Bem sério!

- Ele é bom para ti? Te respeita e faz-te sentir bem?

Ela olhou-me séria, hesitou por um milésimo de segundo e respondeu.

- Sim.

- Então só posso apoiar-te, obviamente, meu amor.

Ela sorriu e me abraçou, sussurrando um ‘obrigada’ ao pé do ouvido, como se o meu apoio fosse fazer alguma diferença no que ela sentia ou queria. Certamente aliviaria uma carga emocional enorme, pela aprovação que ela queria, mas não poderia alterar seus sentimentos.

Ela beijou-me a face e saiu correndo pela porta afora, a caminho de ‘sei-lá-para-onde’… Fiquei a olhar a forma como ela parecia radiante. Quase flutuava, de tanta felicidade. Antes de sair pelo portão, ainda voltou-se e acenou-me um adeus engraçado, com um sorriso enorme estampado na face jovial. Eu sorri e acenei-lhe de volta, dando-me conta que ela havia, definitivamente, crescido e desabrochado. A juventude é mesmo uma fase maravilhosa da vida.

Fiquei a olhar o vazio no portão, depois que ela desapareceu na distância e a pensar na minha própria vida.

Atrás de mim, as palavras de uma canção conhecida a tocar, pareceu cutucar meu coração com uma certa crueldade, quase intencional. Minhas memórias estavam sempre tão associadas à música e às muitas canções significativas, que eu mal conseguia controlar minhas emoções, cada vez que ouvia alguma que havia, de alguma forma, marcado minha vida.

… I wish you, I wish you, I wish you all the best
    I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you not the least…*

***
- Pai?

- Diz…

- Quem foi o grande amor da tua vida?

A pergunta pegou-me desprevenido. Brinquei com a resposta, para ganhar algum tempo.

- Foi Ginger.

Ela deu uma gargalhada.

- Eu já devia esperar por esta resposta, mas falo sério. Ginger foi, sem dúvida um grande amor, mas eu falava de uma pessoa, não do gatinho.

- Ginger foi mais que um gatinho. Foi um grande companheiro, meu amor…

- Pai?

Eu sorri. Sabia que ela não ia desistir, sem receber uma resposta aceitável. Seus olhos pareciam duas grandes bolas de vidro escuro. Fingi que não percebi…

- Diz.

- Quem foi? De verdade, mesmo!

- Não sei se houve ‘o grande amor’ da minha vida…

- Oh! Mesmo? E a mãe?

Eu olhei a face séria da minha menina e respondi com sinceridade.

- Ela foi uma grande paixão, é verdade e deu-me a ti, que és o meu maior presente de vida. É certo que tive muitas outras paixões, mas para ser o grande amor, não pode ser uma coisa unilateral, não é mesmo?

- Não necessariamente. Se te fez sentir amado; se foi intenso; se te fez sonhar; se te fez sentir especial e, de alguma forma, uma pessoa melhor… Se soube trazer à tona o melhor de ti...

- Quanta sabedoria em uma criatura tão jovem…

Ela riu, meio sem jeito, com as faces enrubescendo ligeiramente. Eu reconheci que o tempo havia transformado aquela menininha em uma jovem e sábia mulher e agradeci aos céus por aquilo. Ela estava radiante e aquela felicidade fazia-a refulgir e contagiava a mim também.

Mas ela estava certa. Quem, além de nós mesmos, pode-nos fazer felizes, mesmo que por uns breves momentos? Não é este a verdadeiro sentido do amor: brotar e desabrochar de dentro para fora?

Havia aprendido, contudo, que nem os pequenos, nem os grandes amores sobrevivem à distância, ou à falta de reciprocidade, ou à mentira. Mais cedo ou mais tarde estas coisas vêm à tona e destroem o que de bom os sentimentos ainda possuem. As máscaras caem, as verdades aparecem, o tempo e a distância esfriam as ligações e os afetos vão-se desvanecendo, até o ponto em que o fio da ternura parte-se, para sempre e aquilo, que era tudo, passa a ser, apenas, mais uma ilusão destruída e convertida em dura e triste realidade e em uma quebra nas expectativas…

Pior ainda é quando o tal amor transforma-se em ódio ou desprezo, ou outro sentimento tão negativo quanto estes. Ao invés de nos sentirmos felizes pelo que foi, nos sentimos mal pelo que deixou de ser.
 
Como eu ia dizer à ela que meu coração teve muitas paixões muito intensas, mas que eu jamais poderia revelar que alguma vez existiram? Para todos os efeitos, foram ‘affairs’ que nunca aconteceram. Para todos os efeitos, foram paixões que só disseram respeito a mim e a mais ninguém… assim unilateralmente. Sad but true…

- Pois eu acho que este é o grande amor da minha vida.

- Fico feliz por ti, meu amor. Tenho certeza que só pode fazer-te bem. Parece até que viste um passarinho azul!

- É verde, pai! Passarinho verde!

Eu ri. Ela também. Aquela era uma piadinha que nós fazíamos. Uma ‘private joke’ só nossa.

- Meu amorzinho, nunca deixes as pessoas, que não sabem a tua história, interferirem na tua vida amorosa. A vossa vida só interessa a vocês e a mais ninguém…

- Eu sei, pai.

- E tenha cuidado para não te machucar. O coração vê através de óculos que a razão não usa.

Mesmo sabendo melhor que ninguém que uma pessoa apaixonada não ouve conselhos daqueles, por mais coerentes que possam ser, eu não pude furtar-me de dá-los.

Sabia que o que importava, realmente, era ouvir a voz do coração e viver intensamente… “Que seja eterno enquanto dure”, como dizia o poeta…

E como eu poderia saber se ela estava certa ou não, em definir aquele como “o” amor da sua vida, se não estava vivendo o que ela sentia? No fundo eu só queria que ela fosse feliz.

***
- Estás nervoso?

- Não! Tu?

- Um pouco preocupada.

- Eu compreendo. Mas não te preocupes. Ninguém vai notar se alguma coisa sair fora do teu plano. Faz parte do processo.

Ela pareceu absorver aquelas palavras com tranquilidade. O que acontecesse, não ia estragar o brilho daquele dia. Apenas as pessoas mais íntimas estavam presentes e não havia motivos para apreensões. A simplicidade e o carisma dela eram suficientes para fazê-la brilhar, mas ela talvez tivesse menos consciência daquilo, que eu mesmo tinha.

- Vai lá. Agora é encarar e ir em frente!

Ela ia, por assim dizer, marcar o dia de seu aniversário com uma decisão bastante importante e muito corajosa.

Quando ela voltou, vestida como se fosse para a ocasião mais marcante de sua vida, até então, parecia deslumbrante e nervosa, ao mesmo tempo. Tinha um brilho no olhar que não deixava dúvidas sobre o propósito daquela decisão.

Ao seu lado, o amor de sua vida sorria, com os dedos entrelaçados nos dela, tão deslumbrante quanto a minha menina.

As duas formavam um par excepcionalmente suave, belo e, ao mesmo tempo, forte e destemido.

Eu sorri, abri os braços e as duas encaixaram-se no meu abraço. Ao pé dos ouvidos delas, eu disse, baixinho:

- Vocês são duas deusas guerreiras! Sejam muito, muito felizes!

As duas me abraçaram e beijaram-me as faces. Estavam abençoadas.

O que viesse, dali, para frente, eram batalhas para as duas travarem juntas...


*( Benjamin Clementine's "The Movies Never Lie")


domingo, 9 de outubro de 2016

The Secret Files


- There's nothing bad about them... nothing to be ashamed of. They are very good, to tell you the truth.

- But they are not good enough. They’re just studies...

- You are such a hard person. I can’t argue with you to any further extent. You’re too perfectionist…

- I just think I need to practice a lot more... that's all...

- You know it better. But if they are studies, they are better than a lot of what you see around.

- I think it will sound arrogant, if I agree, of course. There is still a long way before I consider myself happy with the results of those...

- I surrender.

- And I have to laugh. What is the point of arguing with someone who gives up so easily?

He laughed. He did it to incite a reaction.

- Open those 'secret files' once. You will be surprised!

- I need to think about it...

- Please, do it. It will be really nice.

The so-called secret files were nude studies in various styles and techniques, which I used to make for fun, but that I did not show to but a few people. Insistence was part of the process in which we have worked together anyway for a time then.

- Not all are butterflies. There are other things around you… around us.... Butterflies are gorgeous, but there is so much more than that... There is no reason to be afraid of anything or even be ashamed of in showing the pictures... There is nothing wrong with them... It’s quite on the contrary!


- I'll do my best...

- As long as you don't stop making them...

And then, after some thinking, I decided to open the secret files. It was not only a matter of courage, but also acceptance on the quality of the studies. I knew they were not as good as I wanted, but in a certain way, with time, I should be able to see or notice a substantial change in my work.

Some of the components of the secret files are shown below.

(The female figure is based on an original by Dusan Djukaric).







quinta-feira, 29 de setembro de 2016

Arquivos Secretos


- Não há nada demais com eles. São muito bons, para falar a verdade.

- Mas não são bons o suficiente. São apenas estudos…

- És uma pessoa tão difícil. Não sei como argumentar.

- Apenas acho que preciso de mais prática… só isso…

- Tu que sabes. Mas, se são estudos, estão melhores que muita coisa que se vê por aí.

- Soará meio arrogante, se eu concordar, obviamente. Ainda falta muito para eu dar-me por satisfeito…

- Eu desisto.

- E eu tenho que rir. Qual o propósito de argumentar com alguém que desiste tão fácil?

Ele riu. Fez aquilo para provocar-me.

- Abre estes ‘arquivos secretos’. Tu vais-te surpreender!

- Preciso pensar a respeito…

- Faça isso. Vai ser bom.

Os chamados arquivos secretos eram estudos de nus, em vários estilos e técnicas, que eu fazia por diversão, mas que não mostrava para muitos. A insistência fazia parte do processo em que trabalhávamos juntos.

- Nem tudo são borboletas. Existem outras coisas à nossa volta... à tua volta. Borboletas são bonitas, mas há muito mais que isso… Não há porque sentir medo ou vergonha de mostrar os desenhos… Não há nada demais neles… muito pelo contrário!


E, então, eu resolvi, depois de algum tempo, abrir os tais arquivos secretos. Não era somente uma questão de coragem, mas também de aceitação em relação à qualidade dos estudos. Eu sabia que não estavam bons como eu queria, mas de uma certa forma, com o passar do tempo, eu deveria ser capaz de ver/perceber uma evolução qualquer no meu trabalho.

Eis alguns dos componentes do arquivo secreto...






sábado, 3 de setembro de 2016

The Barcode (Final)


A pleasant and refreshing wind blew hard against the two young men, as soon as the airport exit door opened and they found themselves on the outside, where series of taxis were queuing and departing with passengers and their luggage in a frantic and almost constant pace.



A dark-haired man in his mid-thirties, came up and asked where they were going to, but the two young men were focused on looking for a familiar head among the many who were standing along the boardwalk. The man insisted, but the two said they were waiting for someone, giving him less importance than he wanted.

The airport sliding doors opened and closed every few seconds, but they did not spot who they had hoped to see.

- I'm going back inside. Something might have happened...

- No. You're not! Do you think that in the midst of this mess, you'll find someone? Let's get out of here before it's too late. Enough of this story and these strange people.

The man, who was still around, insisted in offering them a different shuttle service, cheaper than the taxis. They tried to dismiss him, but he was very persistent. The boys then realized that if they were going to take a standard taxi they would have to wait in a line, which seemed to get longer as the minutes passed on and the cars were not so many anymore, so they decided to accept the other man’s offer.

- OK. OK. Where's the car?

- Right there, sir, in the parking lot. I cannot stop here, as I am not registered in this 'mafia' of airport taxis.

He was clearly dissatisfied with the existing system and just shook his head and moved on, with the two young men following him to where the car would be.

The boy wearing glasses still looked back one last time to make sure he would see the girl, but, amid the tumultuous back-and-forth of people on the sidewalk, it would be impossible to distinguish her head, among so many others. The other man just pulled him by the arm.

- Let's go! Forget it. It is time to go back to the base and to our normal life. It seems that even on holidays we still can’t stay away from these scrapes!

Shaking his head gloomily, the young man crossed the street and entered the parking lot, where the driver was waiting by the car, a shining black van. Someone had spent some time polishing it, contrary to what they would expect. The windows were covered with dark film which was the standard use in the transport cars of the second largest city in the country.

The man was dressed as a chauffeur with a black suit and a white shirt. His tie was in chalk stripe patterns, inclined at an angle to the right in different shades of blue, ranging from cerulean to cobalt on a navy blue background.

He opened the car trunk and carefully accommodated their backpacks in there. The two got into the back of the car, buckled their seat belts and told him where they wanted to go to. The man turned the ignition on and the door locks were automatically activated. He drove around and through the gate, which automatically opened and got out of the parking lot.

Turning right, on the street parallel to the main avenue, he slowed down and pulled over. The passenger front door was opened and a young woman, her hair arranged in a long black braid, came in and sat down beside him. She buckled the seat belt and said, without looking back:

- Let's go. Fast!

The two passengers were speechless. The driver sped up and it was only then that they realized that beneath the dark hair on the back of his head, the tip of a tattoo they knew very well appeared and caused them not only astonishment but also a certain fear.

***

The car, parked in an almost deserted area of ​​a large park of containers, was almost incognito at the appropriate place where a meeting could go practically unsuspected. The driver was standing in front of the car, talking to the girl. The two young men were locked in the car, unable to leave or hear the conversation, but could see that there was some conflict between them.

Another black car approached and stopped right in front of the first one. A large man with the shaved head, wearing a tight black t-shirt evidencing the muscles of his arms and torso came out of it. It was the character that was missing and that they had seen before on several other occasions.

The man exchanged a few words with his colleagues and came toward the other car, where the two boys were locked in.

- Who are you, anyway? Any terrorist group or is it part of a crazy sect? What do you want from us?

The boy wearing glasses was impatient and angry. That story seemed to be going too far and, up to that moment, completely beyond their understanding. His friend, who was still quiet, feared for their lives, but did not comment anything at all. He waited for the man with shaved head, who seemed to be their leader, to speak.

- This is not a crazy sect. We are trained soldiers just like you.

- Soldiers? Trained soldiers for battle? A war?

It was the girl who replied.

- Not exactly. More on the contrary... to prevent one...

- What war?

- A stupid and silent war: the self-destruction of mankind...

- That's crazy! And why are we involved in it, anyway?

- Our presence was never supposed to be noticed. We thought we were being unsuspected until you followed us the first time. Interference of any kind could jeopardize the success of what we had to do... and this could have very serious consequences in the future.

- In the future? This conversation is totally meaningless. You cannot be taken seriously. This is insane.

The young man wearing glasses thought he was dealing with a group of fundamentalists, in which a strange brainwashing was given, making them dangerous and fearless terrorists, with homicidal and probably also suicidal dispositions.

- And you were sent by whom, for God's sake?

- The correct question is not 'by whom?' More properly, it should be: 'from where?'... Or perhaps, even better, 'from when?'...

The two young soldiers looked at each other.

- We came from the future. Our mission is to prevent the uncontrolled overpopulation before it is too late.

The soldier tried to keep calm, knowing that those people were completely demented and, to make matters worse, they believed what they were saying. He, however, had to ask a question, which seemed crucial at the time.

- And how will you do it?

- Using a more effective and permanent contraception method. In fact, the objective is to sterilize more than sixty percent of mankind.

- But that's crazy! How can it be humanly possible?

- This is only a preventive measure, like so many others that have happened in the history. People do not realize that the objective is much deeper. Sterilization is only part of the plan and is for the greater good.

- Castrate more than half the population is a greater good? Don’t you think you are being too radical and senseless?

- Not really! In the future we are devoid of a number of weaknesses that people of this time have and that are considered risky behaviours. This action is necessary for the science to advance. No one will notice anything, because the effect is not obvious. Until scientists reckon that humanity was somehow poisoned, it will take a while. When those responsible realize, it will be almost too late. The Earth aged and barren population will lead to a radical drop in its growth. Science will have to rush with control actions to curb the inevitable decline of the human race. Cloning is the only way out... and the necessary evil... We have already planted a tiny seed in the minds of the researchers of a certain laboratory, using money to be invested in biotechnology. We need to be taken seriously and to a lesser term, to help us help the future...

- We ourselves have been produced in a controlled series, with the best genetic material, scientifically engineered to be fault-free and physically invulnerable by the same laboratory. We are marked with bar codes instead of names. In our case, we have a mission to accomplish and a predefined lifetime. None of us has existed for over a year, unless...

The man with the shaved head directed a very meaningful glare at her. She still looked at the 'driver' who, until then, remained silent, but she could not finish the sentence.

One of the young soldiers did not realize the subtlety of what happened at that time. Although still in doubt, he was more concerned to explore all the possibilities and try to understand the story. Were those people really sent soldiers from the future? The speech was, in a way, quite credible, although extremely fantastic.

- And the rest of the planet will continue untouched? What will happen in the future with the animals, plants, the sea and all this beauty?

- Nothing like those will exist any longer, if we leave things as they are. The uncontrolled growth in population will result in a very serious problem, with exponential effects and a lack of sustainability, which will lead to a consequent global crisis. Hunger will create chaos and despair. Consequently, the destruction will also be exponential. Even the money and riches will have no value, since there will be nothing much to buy and the production will be inadequate to meet all needs. That is why we were sent to take urgent action before it was too late. Indeed, it is already quite late and the lab itself is in great danger...

- The process, now, however, has already started. There is no time to undo it. It is impossible to go back...

- Already? In what way?

- In many parts of the world, our soldiers have followed the orders received, exactly, triggering one calculatedly efficient and effective process. The effects of this will be perceived too late. There will be no way to reverse what has been unleashed in the recent days. Our mission here is complete. Now we just have to go back to the time where we came from.

- So why did you bring us here?

- To prevent your interference would spread the panic around. When you began to follow us, we were afraid that you would put the operation at risk. When we parted, we created a necessary distraction and ensured that the plan would still go on, without any interference.

- But we can boycott this plan. This can still go very wrong...

- Do you think you have a chance? You will not even know where to start. You don’t know the procedure or what have been started. If you want to denounce us, as if that were even possible, what evidence would you have to show? You will be taken as crazy or drug addicts. Everything will sound like a distant dream or any schizophrenic hallucination... Moreover, we will no longer be around here... 

The shaved-headed man looked at the other man and stopped talking.

The boy wearing glasses soon realized that there was a subliminal message in that break, but did not ask anything. What could this man, seemingly harmless, have, that nagged these people?


***


- We have to go back. We have very little time now.

A phone rang. The man answered, frowning.

- But that was not in the plans!

A rather altered voice was heard on the other end. The man was silent, listened and finally relented.

- OK. So will be!

When he switched it off, he walked silently to the car and came back within a few seconds with an automatic gun in his hand. The soldiers realized that is was fitted with a silencer...

Before anyone could even express any reaction, he pointed the gun and fired without hesitation, to the surprise of everyone.

The young woman fell, with a bullet hole in her head, and a broad line of blood dripping like a thick red stream on the grass.

The man then turned around and pointed to the driver, pressing the trigger again.

The driver, in an unexpected and desperate gesture, threw himself against the other man and the two began a strange fight. The two young soldiers joined immediately to help immobilize the killer, knocking him to the ground.

In the confusion, as always happens when you dispute the possession of a loaded gun, there was the sound of a muffled shot. And then, the group stopped fighting...


***


The driver, who had been injured seconds before starting the fight, lay on his back, unconscious, with part of his head covered with blood, a little behind the two young men. The man with shaven head, who had triggered the weapon against his own body during the fight, had a dark and wet stain spreading in the middle of his chest and tinting the ground red, almost next to the body of the murdered girl. The gun was still in his hand and his finger still on the trigger...

The two young soldiers got up and started walking quickly toward the black van. The driver moved as they passed by him. He rubbed his head and moaned, touching the still bleeding wound. The two soldiers got down and without much thought, carried him away with them to the car in which they were before, tucking him in the back seat and leaving at high speed.


***


The sea was calm, as if all the storms of all times, had gone for once and as if the waves and the movement of water were only the chords of a soft lullaby or a repetitive and soothing mantra.

The three men were standing side by side, each with their own thoughts, watching the sea and a few people passing by, without realizing what was happening behind the scenes of life and that could put them in serious danger. The young man wearing glasses broke the silence.

- We have not decided what we will do with the information we were given...

- We will not do anything. That cannot be taken seriously. It was crazy... We will never know the truth...

The two young soldiers looked at the other man, who remained impassive, without any reaction to what they have just said. His life was saved by the two and he owed them more than a simple thank you. The man took a deep breath as if his intention was to absorb the iodine and salty air from the ocean one last time. He closed his eyes for a moment, then spoke quietly.

- We have avoided talking about this for a long time...

- Maybe it's more than time to talk even.

- There is not much else to talk about. I don’t remember much before the incident... accident... whatever it was...

- Great! What a beautiful story! And we will never be able to confirm anything, after all.

- I remember taking part in a very hard military training... and to have been sent before this group of soldiers... I recall having poured the drug in the water supplies... then everything else is blurry and confusing...

- The drug in the water? Was it the method used to sterilize the population? That’s madness...

- It was necessary. That's what we were sent here for. The laboratory was under pressure and the invasion was imminent... Funny I do not remember anything before the training... as if it had never happened...

- Or as if it had been erased from your memory... for some reason...

The man stopped talking and closed his eyes again, leaning on the metal guard rail at the beach front with his head hanging down.

The two soldiers did not know what to think, say or do... Those memory fragments absurdly told a compelling and, at the same time, misplaced story, but it made no connection with any kind of reality whatsoever.

Military training, secret labs, time travellers... what sense could they make in the end?

If the story was real and actually happened, it was lost in the reminiscences of a wounded soldier with memory problems. And how would they know what to do?


***


- I don’t understand. If the soldiers never came back and everything that happened was not even a mass delusion, how will the scientists know whether the plan worked or not?

- The explanation is very simple. If we change the past, there won’t be the same future that led us back to it... For all practical purposes, in fact, they never existed anyway... They could not go back to a future that will no longer exist... at least not the way they saw or lived in!

- And as scary as it may seem, we will never know if the plan worked, because we will never get to that future... It's a dead end!

- Oh my God! This is madness!

The young man took his glasses off and ran his hands over his face, looking completely confused.


A man approached and asked if they had matches to light his cigarette. They said they didn’t and the stranger thanked and kept walking without looking back. He ran his fingers through his hair and straightened his coat collar…

…It was not quick enough however to hide the small tattoo he had on the back of his neck depicting a barcode...