Birds In Love

- I think I have fallen in love.

- Seriously?

She blushed. To me, she was still that little girl I saw growing up, who used to run fearless through the house and used to sing the lyrics of songs invented by herself, each time in a different way and that left us astonished and giggling, before her early cleverness...

- Very seriously!

- Is he good for you? Does he respect you and make you feel good?

She looked at me thoughtfully, hesitated for a millisecond and answered.

- Yes.

- So I can only support you, of course, my love.

She smiled and hugged me, whispering a 'thank you' to my ear, as if my support would make a difference in how she felt or to what she wanted. It certainly lightened a huge emotional burden with my approval but could not change her feelings.

She kissed my cheek and ran out of the door, to 'dunno-where'...

I watched the way she looked radiant. She was almost floating with such happiness. Before leaving the gate, she still turned around and waved me a funny goodbye with a huge grin on her youthful face. I smiled and waved back at her, noticing finally that she had fully grown and blossomed. Youth is such a wonderful stage of life.

I watched the empty gate after she disappeared in the distance and thought about my own life.

Behind me, the words of a known song playing, seemed to poke my heart with a certain almost intentional cruelty. My memories were always so associated with music and many meaningful songs, I could hardly control my emotions, every time I heard something that had somehow marked my life.

... I wish you, I wish you, I wish you all the best

    I'll miss you, I'll miss you, I'll miss you not the least ... *

***

- Dad?

- Yes, my love...

- Who was the greatest love of your life?

The question caught me off guard. I played with the answer, to gain some time.

- It was Ginger.

She laughed.

- I should have waited for that answer, but I mean it. Ginger was undoubtedly a great love, but I was talking about a person, not the cat.

- Ginger was more than a cat. He was a great companion, my love...

- Dad?

I smiled. I knew she was not going to give up without receiving an acceptable response. Her eyes seemed like two big balls of dark glass. I pretended I did not notice...

- Yes, my love.

- Who was it? I mean it!

- I do not know if there was the 'greatest love' of my life...

- Oh! Really? And mom?

I looked at the serious face of my little girl and I answered truthfully.

- She was truly a great passion and she gave me you, who are my greatest gift of life. It is true that I had many other passions, but to be the greatest love, it cannot be a one-sided thing, is not it?

- Not necessarily. If that made you feel loved; if it was intense; if it made you dream and feel special and somehow a better person... If that brought out the best of you...

- So much wisdom in such a young creature...

She laughed awkwardly, with her cheeks blushing slightly. I recognized that time had transformed that little girl into a young and wise woman and I thanked heaven for that. She was radiant and her happiness made her shine and had some grip on me too.

But she was right. Who else could make us happy, but ourselves, even for a few moments? Is this not the true meaning of love - to make us spring and bloom from the inside out?

I had learned, however, that neither the small nor the great love survives the distance or the lack of reciprocity or even worse, the lies. Sooner or later these things come up to the surface and destroy the good things the feelings used to keep in ourselves. The masks fall off, the truth appear, the time and distance cool down our links and the affections fade to the point where the thread of tenderness finally breaks forever and what was everything turns into only a destroyed illusion and a sad and harsh reality of broken expectations...

Even worse is when that love turns into hatred or contempt or other feeling as bad as these. Instead of being happy for what was good, we feel bad about what no longer exists.

  

How could I tell her that my heart had many very intense passions, but I could never reveal they have ever existed? For all practical purposes, those were just ‘affairs' that never happened. For all practical purposes, they were passions that only mattered to me and no one else... unilaterally. That sad but that true...

- Well, I think this is the greatest love of my life.

- I'm glad for you, my love. I'm sure it can only do you good. It seems like you've seen a blue bird!

- It's green, dad! Green Birdie!

I laughed. She laughed too. That was a little joke we were used to. A 'private joke' only ours.

- My little love, never let people, who do not know your history, interfere in your love life. Your life is only of interest to you and no one else...

- I know, Dad.

- And be careful not to hurt yourself. The heart sees through glasses that reason does not wear.

Even knowing better than anyone that a person in love does not listen to advices like those, as consistent as they may be, I could not help but give them.

I knew that what mattered most was the voice of the heart and the way we live intensely...

"May it be eternal while it lasts," as the poet used to say...

And how would I know if she was right or not in defining that as "the" love of her life, if I was not living what she was? In the end, I just wanted her to be happy.

***

- Are you nervous?

- No! You?

- A little worried.

- I understand. But don’t worry. No one will notice if something goes out of your plans. Everything is part of the process.

She seemed to absorb those words with confidence. Whatever happen would not ruin the brightness of that day. Only the closest people were present and there was no reason for worries. Her simplicity and charisma were enough to make her shine, but she was less aware of that than I was.

- Go there. Now it's just a matter of facing it and go ahead!

She was, so to speak, marking her birthday with a very important and courageous decision.

When she returned, dressed as if for the most memorable occasion of her life, until then, she looked stunning and nervous at the same time. She had sparkles in her eyes that left no doubt about the purpose of that decision.

At her side, the love of her life smiled, fingers entwined in hers, as happy and gorgeous as my little girl.

The two formed an exceptionally smooth and beautiful couple, that was, at the same time, strong and fearless, like two brave amazons.

I smiled and opened my arms and the two girls fell into my fatherly embrace. At the foot of their ears I said quietly:

- You are two warrior goddesses! Be very, very happy!

The two lovers embraced me and kissed my cheeks. They were blessed.

What would come forward from there, were battles for the two to face together...

* (Benjamin Clementine's "The Movies Never Lie")