domingo, 8 de setembro de 2019

Hyacinthus (Part 1)



The morning air was still very fresh, almost cold, in spite of being high summer season.

The man ran his both hands along his well-groomed blond hair, trying to hold it tamed against the wind which was blowing from the sea. Assuming he was alone, he stripped off his t-shirt, running shoes and shorts and then managed to tie his hair up on a bun at the top of his head. He crossed the white sands, walking confidently towards the fresh emerald-green waters and dove into the breaking waves…

It felt great and refreshing, after the sprint he had along the beach, as he normally did while staying at the summer house for as long as a full high season month.

Some minutes later he came off the sea and only then he noticed he was not actually alone, after all. He looked at where his clothes were left on and walked upon the fine sand to that direction.

He did not try to hide or cover his naked body. He simply grabbed his t-shirt and rubbed it on his upper body, intending to dry it out a bit and put his shorts back on. It was only then he finally spoke, while picking up his running shoes, ready to go back home.

***

“Demons are back, demons are back once again,
Fighting them off, I’m fighting them off once again,
It's hard for me, but I'm trying”… (Adam Evald; “That Day”)

- The story in this video clip is so sad.

- It is, but I like the song… very much…

- A mood song. I wonder what happened to them. Why did she leave?

- Do you really need to know? When it’s over, it’s over…

- But two beautiful people… popular culture tells us their lives must therefore be perfect.

- No life is perfect… sadly.

- But all advertising is based on the belief that it’s possible. And we fall for it.

- Do you still fall for those? It’s been a long time since I last believed in any perfect relationship.

- It does work!

He thought about it for as long as a full couple of seconds.

- It might work… for a time… maybe…

He got up and walked off the living room towards the balcony. The night was pleasant and quiet. He could hear the ocean roaring from the distance, invitingly, so he decided to go for a walk. He needed to think, get some fresh air, and let himself go with the summer night and the sea breeze… in his own inner and private world.

***

- Don’t you see it doesn’t work like that? It’s not only my will that counts in this situation. I cannot hurt people who got nothing to do with this situation for my own sake.

- You will have to, eventually.

- I hope not.

- What will you do, then? What do you want to do?

- I don’t know. I’ve tried to come to an end and all I could see was a dead end.

- You’ll have to find a way. Or else you’ll go crazy.

- Don’t push me.

- It’s my job to push you out of this comfort zone. You’re getting too used to pain and guilt… and sadness… besides those escape moments once a week or so…

- It’s easy for you to say it, when you’ve got so much less to lose.

He smiled. He knew what the man was talking about and he knew it was not as easy as he was pushing him into, but that was what he could do to help.

- We need to go. I have another patient waiting already.

The therapy session was over. The man felt almost relieved. Sometimes those meetings were very stressful as they pulled some strings really hard.

When he walked off the analyst office he felt tired… and sad… There were lots of things to think over until their next appointment.

***

Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. It can blur one’s discernment. And sometimes it can lead to things one might do without thinking… risky and hot-headed acts.

- Zephyr?

- Yes. He is the one. I know him.

- That’s a horrible name! Who still name their offspring like that?

He laughed. They were playing throwing the discus on the field by the bigger lake at the city park. There were a couple of swans swimming in the calm waters close by and that felt like they were in a world all of their own.

He saw the man coming towards where they were. There was a strange smile on his face, as if he was coming with some intention.

For some strange and mystifying reason, as soon as the man got closer, an unexpected wind started blowing and the swans got uneasy and noisy, spreading their wings and craning their long necks ahead. 

- Zephyr, you said, uh?

- Yeah, right!

The two friends approached the newcomer and greeted him. The man smiled and leaning forward, grabbed the discus from the ground and handed it in to the blond man.

- Mind if I join in the game?

- Not at all. Be welcome.

- (That smile again… What does it mean?)

***

- What do you mean by “back”?

- Back… like here and again.

- I thought that was over.

- Me too, but it seems it’s not.

- Are you sure about it?

- Pretty sure, yes.

- What will you do, then?

- I don’t know yet… but I must do something… and quick!

- You better!

- I know. It’s not the perfect timing… and I thought that was… I mean, there are so many things still to sort out and now this!

- Be brave! You’ll need more than that to face it!

- I know…

For some reason his mind went back in time, when it all started…

- Oh! God!

***


sábado, 24 de agosto de 2019

Seis Anos com Thomas




Seis anos. 

Seis deliciosos anos, com ele participando da minha vida.

Quando ele veio e estacionou na minha sala, naquele dia 24 de Agosto, eu não pensei que aquela criatura tão assustada e tão assombrada pelo stress, causado por maus tratos, fosse adaptar-se dentro da minha vida como o fez. 

A primeira mudança que nós dois fizemos, foi usar um nome mais decente que o que ele tinha, e com o qual adaptou-se bem e aprendeu a responder, quando eu chamo ou converso com ele.

Hoje eu sei que fiz a escolha certa, quando o adoptei e que ele parece feliz, bem adaptado, mais tranquilo e mais saudável. 

Claro que ele é um gato bastante mimado, com suas muitas manias, suas maneiras estabanadas de correr pela casa, de pedir as coisas, de saltar sobre o sofá, para espiar pela janela, ou de dar aqueles miados muito baixinhos, quase tímidos, para chamar a minha atenção. 

Aqueles olhos muito verdes parecem faróis. Na verdade, são dois verdadeiros faróis, que me iluminam os dias. Chegar à casa e vê-lo à porta, deitar-se no tapete, completamente à vontade e esperar por chamegos e carícias, é uma grande alegria, depois de um dia cheio. É como se todos os problemas do mundo acabassem ali, na simplicidade terna daquele momento.

Eu poderia usar muitas centenas de palavras para falar sobre ele, mas resolvi somente fazer este pequeno texto, para celebrar esta data. 

Longa vida, Thomas! Que continues a me fazer assim feliz, por muito tempo ainda!

quinta-feira, 15 de agosto de 2019

Voltar Para Casa (Parte Final)



Eu gritei. Estava em choque e com medo. A chuva forte caiu pesada e ruidosamente sobre a superfície do carro, assim que chegamos à rua.

- Está tudo bem, agora. Ele foi muito rápido em saltar para o lado.

- De onde ele veio, pelo amor de Deus? Ele nos perseguia? Há quanto tempo?

- Não sei…

- Porra! Estou com muito medo agora.

- Acalme-se. Em breve estaremos em casa.

- Nós deveríamos ter chamado a polícia... há muito tempo! Desde que ele…

- Nós não achamos que era necessário no momento. Talvez devêssemos agora.

- Definitivamente, sim. Nós temos de chamar a polícia, para o nosso bem!

***

- O que estás fazendo? Me deixa ir embora!

- Diz que vai tomar um café comigo.

- Estás me assustando. Me larga, por favor…

Ele me segurou mais forte. Seus olhos eram como os de um louco. Eu tentei afastá-lo, mas ele era muito mais forte que eu. Então ele me puxou para mais perto e me apontou uma faca. Eu podia sentir o quão forte ele era, pelo jeito firme que me segurava, mas eu não teria coragem de mover um centímetro que fosse, de qualquer maneira, sob aquela ameaça.

E foi então que tudo aconteceu, muito rapidamente...

***

- E se não tivesse acontecido?

- Tu terias morrido, ou talvez, também eu...

- Eu sei... eu te devo...

- Não me deves nada. Ainda bem que eu estava lá.

- Eu nunca serei capaz de te agradecer o suficiente. Aquilo foi muito rápido e agiste como um verdadeiro herói.

- Eu apenas agi por instinto. E estou tão feliz por estar lá, naquela hora em que o vi a forçar a barra contigo. Quando percebi que era uma faca, que ele tinha na mão, não pude deixar de interferir. Tu estavas em perigo. Mas foi meio à louca, sem pensar, embora só tenha considerado o risco, bem mais tarde. Ele poderia ter-nos matado... aos dois. Mas era um grande covarde, afinal, de qualquer maneira. Ele fugiu, assim que se viu desarmado.

- E então tu jogaste a faca tão longe, para dentro do mar. Foi como jogar a situação e o perigo para longe de nós. E agora ele volta para nossas vidas. Por quê?

- Eu não tenho ideia. Mas é sabido que ele tem estado a te seguir desde o dia em que quase esbarraste nele, na porta do prédio. Ele, provavelmente, não superou o dia em que eu lhe chutei o traseiro, também. A vingança é, talvez, o que ele queira agora. Deixemos a polícia lidar com ele a partir daqui. É o dever deles.


***

A polícia não pode fazer nada em termos de segurança, pois não havia provas de que tínhamos sido ameaçados por aquele homem. Fomos nós que tentamos atropelá-lo, afinal. Ele poderia nos ter processado pela tentativa de assassinato, se quisesse. A justiça não nos protegeria em nenhum caso.

Decidimos que teríamos de cuidar da nossa segurança, por conta própria, o que poderia levar à medidas extremas.

Mas para nossa sorte, deixamos de ser ameaçados ou perseguidos… por ele, ou por qualquer outra pessoa. Ele simplesmente desapareceu das nossas vidas. Nós ainda continuávamos a ser cuidadosos, mas já não estávamos tão paranóicos, quase relaxando e voltando à nossa rotina normal, desejando, apenas, sermos abençoados por uma vida mais tranquila.

***

- Estás fazendo fotossíntese?

Ele riu. Com o rosto voltado para o sol da manhã, ele parecia sentir um prazer inigualável naquilo. Estava sem a camisa, mostrando seu torso bem esculpido, pelas horas bem aproveitadas no ginásio. Seu cabelo brilhava, assim como a sua pele pálida. Seus olhos eram tão azuis quanto o céu acima de nós. Eu agradeci ao Universo por ser, aquele, um dia tão agradável e iluminado de verão e por aquela visão adorável. Pensei logo em um deus grego... Apolo, talvez, por causa de seus cabelos e barba cor de fogo, e…

Ele notou meu sorriso quase discreto e presumi que estivesse lendo minha mente.

- Eu acho que estou, sim. Isso é muito bom mesmo. E é tão bom estar cá em casa, assim...

- Eu concordo plenamente. Tome isto…

Ele sabia que eu estava brincando com as palavras, então aceitou, sorrindo, a xícara de café fresco que eu lhe ofereci. Sentamos do lado de fora, ouvindo os sons dos pássaros a gorjear e da água corrente do riacho, correndo, não muito longe da parte de trás da casa. Era uma relaxante manhã de domingo e estávamos desfrutando da companhia um do outro, como deveria ser, sempre.

Depois do pequeno-almoço que nós tivemos nos fundos da propriedade, decidimos dar um passeio na floresta, antes de voltar para preparar uma refeição mais consistente. Estava uma manhã agradável e queríamos aproveitar o melhor que podíamos. Passear pela floresta seria mais fresco e não estaríamos expostos ao sol direto. Sabíamos que nossas peles se queimariam facilmente, mesmo com o uso de uma boa camada de protetor solar.

Levamos cerca de duas horas para voltar. Quando nos aproximamos do portão, notei que seu rosto mudou.

- Nós deixamos o portão aberto, daquele jeito?

- Acho que não…

- Que droga! Tenha cuidado. Fique aqui. Vou conferir isto.

Eu tentei protestar, mas foi inútil. Ele estava muito sério e eu sabia o porquê.

- Fique aqui, com o telefone a postos, para chamar emergência ou a polícia. Podemos ter de pedir ajuda.

- Mas quem…?

Ele cruzou o portão e entrou, correndo, tentando não fazer muito ruído. Eu esperei do lado de fora, como ele me disse, mas minha mente estava tão apreensiva, que eu não conseguia pensar.

Eu o ouvi gritar uma… duas vezes… depois veio um silêncio e, em seguida, uns sons estranhos.

"Isso é o som de uma luta? Mas que diabos?'

Meu coração afundou quando percebi o que estava acontecendo.

- Oh, não! Isso não!

Eu ouvi um baque, como de algo pesado a cair no chão e, depois, um tiro.

- Oh, não! Não, não, não!

Eu atravessei o portão sem pensar claramente. Sentia como se meu coração fosse sair, desesperado, pela minha boca. Então eu presenciei a pior cena que poderia, naquele momento.

O sangue ainda escorria fresco e pegajoso nos ladrilhos acastanhados da varanda.

Os dois corpos ainda estavam estirados no chão. Eu conhecia o homem que estava por cima dele... Os dois corpos estavam, ambos, imóveis.

Eu gritei. O corpo que estava em cima rolou para o lado, sem sinal de vida.

- Ele saiu da casa com a minha arma na mão... e nós brigamos... e...

- O que? Como? Tu estás…?

Estava coberto de sangue, mas não era dele e, sim, do homem com o qual esteve lutando e que jazia ao seu lado, morto.

- Chame a polícia! Eu acabo de matar o sujeito!

- Ai, meu Deus. Isto é horrível! Estamos ferrados! O que fazemos agora? O que devemos fazer agora? A polícia não vai acreditar em nós…

- Não entre em pânico! Chame a polícia!

- E se…

- Pelo amor de Deus! Chame a polícia! Agora!!!

***


quinta-feira, 8 de agosto de 2019

Homeward (Final Part)



I closed my eyes. He just pushed the speed pedal down harder and went up the ramp. I heard the noise of something being hit and the sound of breaking glass and the man blaring his curses against us.

I screamed in shock and fear. The rain fell heavy and hard on the car when we hit the street.

- We’re OK now. He was quick to jump aside.

- Where did he come from, for heaven’s sake? Was he stalking us?

- I don’t know…

- Fuck! I’m really terrified now.

- Calm down. We’ll be home soon.

- We should have called the police… a long time ago!

- We didn’t think it was necessary at the time. Maybe we should now.

- We must!

***

- What are you doing? Let me go!

- Say you’re going to have a coffee with me.

- You’re scaring me. Leave me alone… please…

He held me tighter in his grip. His eyes were like the ones of a madman. I tried to push him away, but he was stronger than me. Then he pulled me closer and showed me a knife. I could feel how strong he was by the way he held me, but I would not move an inch away anyway.

And then it happened so quickly…

***

- What if it did not happen?

- You could be dead by now or…

- I know… I owe you…

- You owe me nothing. I’m glad I was there.

- I will never be able to thank you enough. You were so quick and acted like a true hero.

- I just acted by instinct. And I am so glad I was there at the moment I saw him forcing the situation. When I noticed he had a knife, I just could not help but interfere. You were in danger. But it was risky, although I never thought it was, before later on. He could have killed you… or us. But he was a coward in the end, anyway. He ran away as soon as he was unarmed.

- And then you threw his knife so far away into the sea. It was like throwing the situation away from us. And then now he comes back into our lives. Why?

- I have no clear idea. But it’s known that he’s been following you since the day you almost bumped into him at your door. And he probably have not overcome the day I kicked his ass off. Revenge is, maybe, what he wants now. Let the police deal with him from this point on.

***

The police could do nothing in terms of security, as there was no evidence that we had been threatened by that man. It was us who tried to run over him, so he could have sued us for the attempt of murder, if he wanted to. Justice would not protect us in any case.

We decided we would have to protect ourselves on our own account and our safety and that could lead to extreme measures.

For some time, we were not threatened by him or anyone else though. He simply disappeared for long. We were still being careful, but not paranoid anymore, almost relaxing and coming back to our normal lives, wishing we were blessed by fortune.

***

- Are you photosynthesizing?

He laughed. With his face turned to the morning sun, he seemed to be having so much pleasure in that. He was shirtless, showing off his shaped torso. His hair was shining as was his pale skin. His eyes were as blue as the sky above us. I praised the summer for that lovely vision and thought of a Greek god… Apollo, maybe, for his fiery hair and beard, and…

He noticed my almost discreet smile and I assumed he was reading my mind.

- I think I am. It feels so good. It’s so good being home.

- I totally agree. Take this…

He knew I was playing with words, so he just accepted, smiling, the cup of fresh coffee I was offering him. We sat outside, listening to the sounds of birds chirping and the running water of the stream by the back of the house. It was a relaxing Sunday morning and we were enjoying the company of each other.

After the nice breakfast we had in the backyard, we decided to go for a walk in the woods before lunchtime. It was a pleasant morning and we wanted to enjoy it the best we could. Being in the woods would be fresher and we would not be exposed to direct sun. We knew our skins would get sunburned easily, even with the protection of sun lotion.

It took us about two hours to come back home. As we were getting closer to the gate I noticed his face changed.

- Did we leave the gate that open?

- I don’t think so…

- Shit! Be careful. Stay here. I will check this out.

I tried to protest, but it was of worthless. He was very serious and I knew why.

- Stay here. Keep the phone. We might have to call for help.

- Who…?

He crossed the gate and went inside. I waited out of the gate, as he told me to, but my mind was so apprehensive I could not think.

I heard him shout. I heard him shout again and then silence. Strange sounds.

‘Was that a fight? What the hell?’

My heart sank when I realised what was going on.

- Oh, no! Oh, no!

I heard a thud and then a shot.

- Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

I crossed the gate without thinking clearly. I felt as if my heart was in my mouth. Then I saw the worst vision I could at that moment.

The blood was still running fresh and sticky on the brownish tiles of the porch.

The two bodies were still on the floor. I knew the man who was on top of him… both bodies motionless.

Then I screamed. The body on top rolled over to the side.

- He came out from the house with my gun in his hand... and we fought… and…

- What? How? Are you…?

He was covered in blood but it was not his.

- Call the police! I just killed the guy!

- Oh, my goodness. This is horrible! We are so fucked! What do we do now? What are we supposed to do now? The police will not believe us…

- Don’t panic! Call the police! Now!

- And what if…

- For fuck’s sake! Call them! Now!!!

***