Hyacinthus (Final)

“Down on my knees, down on my knees once again... 

  I'm down on my knees, down on my knees once again... 

  Breaking in tears, breaking in tears once again...

  It's hard for me, but I'm trying”… (Adam Evald; “That Day”)

***

- What have you done?

- If he’s not mine, he’s not anyone else’s either…

- Are you out of your mind? And what do we do now?

He revealed that maleficent smile again, while speaking very slowly and clearly.

- I won’t do anything… I have just done what I wanted to… You’re the one who has to do something now.

- Oh, my God! What do I do now?

- Take your medicine and I’ll disappear… and you’ll have to face a crime… alone… or you can call it an accident. Perhaps they’ll buy it, or else…

- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

***

- You’re delirious! There’s nothing in there.

- I promise you there was a body. A dead man! He was right there!    

   

- How long since you’ve taken your last pill?

- I’m not sure. I’ve lost track of time.

- Look at me. Focus. Now! How long?

- I don’t know. A couple of weeks, maybe.

- Weeks? Are you crazy? You know you must take it every day!!! How do you know you’re not hallucinating?

- I’m not. I mean, I don’t think so…

- You don’t think so? You don’t think so?!?!? What does that mean? Don’t you see you can be convicted as accessory to a crime? If there was really a crime!

- I’m not an accessory. I did not encourage or participate in that...

- You’ll have to prove it, if we ever find the body.

He kneeled on the floor, holding his head with both hands and cried, like a child, when they heard the sound of the siren coming closer.

***

There was silence in the darkness. There was darkness in that silence.

The man looked around. He seemed to be alone. He was not sure where he was. He heard a dry click and suddenly a door was opened. The light pierced his eyes. He tried to cover his face with both hands, but he could not move them. He was not alone anymore.

- How do you feel?

- What is this? Where am I?

- You’re safe now. We will take care of you…

The men dressed in white came closer. He had the impression he knew one of them. He saw his friend on the corner of the room, but that could be just an impression… his mind playing games with him.

A sudden sting in his left arm made him open his eyes wide, but he soon felt he could not keep them open for much longer. He could still hear the noises of people talking, but the words were vanishing in the confusing mix of different voices.

Then it was all dark again… and silent…

***

- How is he doing?

- He’s been in and out. He’s just coming out of another crisis. His case became more and more complex with the passing of time and the fact that he did not take the medication for months.

- I see…

The doctor was being as honest and practical as he could be.

- He needs to stay in intensive care for some time still, before we release him.

- Will he ever been cured? I mean, even with a lifetime prescription process?

- We’ll never know for sure… Life is full of surprises…

***

- Will you help me out of here?

- That’s what I’m doing…

- No. Not this way, no…

- It is the only way now.

- Please…

- You asked me once if I knew about your feelings for me and I said I was not good at speaking my heart out. Well, I thought a lot about that, and the only way out is staying in. And this is so because I really care about you. More than anything else… I’ll be here for you all the time.

His eyes were fixed on his loved comrade. There was a mix of pity, concern and true affection. He touched his friend’s face, very lightly.

- You are so kind…

- And you’re so stoned…

He closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile on his face.

***

Patience, medication and a close vigilance proved to be the most effective treatment for his schizophrenia.

The doctors discharge him from the treatment centre after deciding he was ready to go back to his almost normal life and to the things and people he was used to, when the symptoms seemed to have disappeared completely.

He was relieved and so was his best friend and mentor. They needed a celebration. They had agreed they would go to the beach house, as he wanted to spend a time by the sea, far from doctors and nurses.

They drove to the beach so to spend more than just that weekend away.

***

- Don’t go away. I don’t want you to leave anymore.

- I’m right here. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.

- I feel sad when I think that he died that way. I still feel guilty about all of that…

- He’s not dead, silly!

- What do you mean?

- How could he? He’d never been real.

- You should not be here either. Not anymore… at least… but…

He smiled. That strange smirk again.

- Your mind is more powerful than you want to admit! Have you taken your pills today?

- I have, of course.

- Then?

- You’re still here.

- See? If after all this time you still see me… well, you know how to put two and two together. I’m glad you’ve kept our secret that I’ve never really disappeared. Now, look around. Don’t you see him? At that side of the beach, close to the rocks?

He walked some timid steps to that direction.

His perception of everything around him seemed more accurate and clear than ever before: the breeze… the raging sea... a sound he had known very well…

The discus fell at his feet. When he leaned forward to catch it, he heard the giggle. The man’s ginger hair was shining in the sun. He loved that handsome and masculine face and that bright smile, almost brighter than the sun.  

He looked at him, smiling and feeling relieved. They hugged each other in silence.

They both started crying, filled with a strange and authentic happiness.

The sky above was very clean and blue. The wind wafted around them and it felt like an embrace and a kiss blown on their faces. They heard a chuckle. 

He knew Zephyr was laughing at them from a distance.

***

The day was sunny and warm, and the breeze was really welcoming. His friend’s hand lay upon his shoulder and he felt protected, loved and, if that was possible, as free as a seabird.

- You’re the kindest and more loved creature of the Universe! I would never be thankful enough for the patience and care and attention and…

- Oh! Stop it! I really care about you. A lot… And I’m not afraid of saying that anymore.

Stripping off his t-shirt and getting rid of his training shoes and shorts, he walked straight to the sea, followed by his best friend, who was as naked and feeling as free as he was.

Two figures were observing them, sitting on the rocks, from a safe distance.

He pretended not to see them, but he sensed they were smiling, as if they were having fun with all that.

***