- I think I have
fallen in love.
- Seriously?
She blushed. To me, she was still that little
girl I saw growing up, who used to run fearless through the house and used to
sing the lyrics of songs invented by herself, each time in a different way and that left us astonished and giggling,
before her early cleverness...
- Very seriously!
- Is he good for you?
Does he respect you and make you feel good?
She looked at me thoughtfully, hesitated for a
millisecond and answered.
- Yes.
- So I can only
support you, of course, my love.
She smiled and hugged me, whispering a 'thank you' to my ear, as if my support
would make a difference in how she felt or to what she wanted. It certainly lightened
a huge emotional burden with my approval but could not change her feelings.
She kissed my cheek and ran out of the door, to
'dunno-where'...
I watched the way she looked radiant. She was almost
floating with such happiness. Before leaving the gate, she still turned around
and waved me a funny goodbye with a huge grin on her youthful face. I smiled
and waved back at her, noticing finally that she had fully grown and blossomed.
Youth is such a wonderful stage of life.
I watched the empty gate after she disappeared
in the distance and thought about my own life.
Behind me, the words of a known song playing, seemed
to poke my heart with a certain almost intentional cruelty. My memories were
always so associated with music and many meaningful songs, I could hardly
control my emotions, every time I heard something that had somehow marked my
life.
... I wish you, I wish
you, I wish you all the best
I'll
miss you, I'll miss you, I'll miss you not the least ... *
***
- Dad?
- Yes, my love...
- Who was the greatest
love of your life?
The question caught me off guard. I played with
the answer, to gain some time.
- It was Ginger.
She laughed.
- I should have waited
for that answer, but I mean it. Ginger was undoubtedly a great love, but I was
talking about a person, not the cat.
- Ginger was more than
a cat. He was a great companion, my love...
- Dad?
I smiled. I knew she was not going to give up
without receiving an acceptable response. Her eyes seemed like two big balls of
dark glass. I pretended I did not notice...
- Yes, my love.
- Who was it? I mean
it!
- I do not know if
there was the 'greatest love' of my life...
- Oh! Really? And mom?
I looked at the serious face of my little girl
and I answered truthfully.
- She was truly a
great passion and she gave me you, who are my greatest gift of life. It is true
that I had many other passions, but to be the greatest love, it cannot be a
one-sided thing, is not it?
- Not necessarily. If that
made you feel loved; if it was intense; if it made you dream and feel special
and somehow a better person... If that brought out the best of you...
- So much wisdom in
such a young creature...
She laughed awkwardly, with her cheeks blushing
slightly. I recognized that time had transformed that little girl into a young
and wise woman and I thanked heaven for that. She was radiant and her happiness
made her shine and had some grip on me too.
But she was right. Who else could make us happy,
but ourselves, even for a few moments? Is this not the true meaning of love - to
make us spring and bloom from the inside out?
I had learned, however, that neither the small
nor the great love survives the distance or the lack of reciprocity or even
worse, the lies. Sooner or later these things come up to the surface and
destroy the good things the feelings used to keep in ourselves. The masks fall
off, the truth appear, the time and distance cool down our links and the affections
fade to the point where the thread of tenderness finally breaks forever and what
was everything turns into only a destroyed illusion and a sad and harsh reality
of broken expectations...
Even worse is when that love turns into hatred
or contempt or other feeling as bad as these. Instead of being happy for what
was good, we feel bad about what no longer exists.
How could I tell her that my heart had many
very intense passions, but I could never reveal they have ever existed? For all
practical purposes, those were just ‘affairs'
that never happened. For all practical purposes, they were passions that only mattered
to me and no one else... unilaterally. That sad but that true...
- Well, I think this
is the greatest love of my life.
- I'm glad for you, my
love. I'm sure it can only do you good. It seems like you've seen a blue bird!
- It's green, dad!
Green Birdie!
I laughed. She laughed too. That was a little
joke we were used to. A 'private joke'
only ours.
- My little love,
never let people, who do not know your history, interfere in your love life.
Your life is only of interest to you and no one else...
- I know, Dad.
- And be careful not
to hurt yourself. The heart sees through glasses that reason does not wear.
Even knowing better than anyone that a person in
love does not listen to advices like those, as consistent as they may be, I
could not help but give them.
I knew that what mattered most was the voice of
the heart and the way we live intensely...
"May it be
eternal while it lasts," as the poet used to say...
And how would I know if she was right or not in
defining that as "the" love
of her life, if I was not living what she was? In the end, I just wanted her to
be happy.
***
- Are you nervous?
- No! You?
- A little worried.
- I understand. But don’t
worry. No one will notice if something goes out of your plans. Everything is part
of the process.
She seemed to absorb those words with
confidence. Whatever happen would not ruin the brightness of that day. Only the
closest people were present and there was no reason for worries. Her simplicity
and charisma were enough to make her shine, but she was less aware of that than
I was.
- Go there. Now it's
just a matter of facing it and go ahead!
She was, so to speak, marking her birthday with
a very important and courageous decision.
When she returned, dressed as if for the most
memorable occasion of her life, until then, she looked stunning and nervous at
the same time. She had sparkles in her eyes that left no doubt about the
purpose of that decision.
At her side, the love of her life smiled,
fingers entwined in hers, as happy and gorgeous as my little girl.
The two formed an exceptionally smooth and
beautiful couple, that was, at the same time, strong and fearless, like two brave
amazons.
I smiled and opened my arms and the two girls fell
into my fatherly embrace. At the foot of their ears I said quietly:
- You are two warrior
goddesses! Be very, very happy!
The two lovers embraced me and kissed my cheeks.
They were blessed.
What would come forward from there, were
battles for the two to face together...
* (Benjamin
Clementine's "The Movies Never Lie")
