- You shouldn't have gone out in this weather!
He laughed. He
expected a less rational welcome, but someone had to keep both feet firmly on
the floor.
- Well, I thought that…
- It's really awful! It doesn't stop raining!
- Only out there. Not in here, no. Or maybe it does… But I like the
rain… you know…
This time he didn't
smile.
- Has anything happened?
- Not yet!
- What do you mean?
***
The room was still
dark. It was hard, almost painful, to open the eyes. The blinds were lowered to
the floor level. Getting up and reaching the switch was an extra effort, almost
not achievable. The sound of the engine slowly moving the thin blades up and
allowing light to enter the room, seemed louder than usual. Sunlight getting in
felt like thorns piercing the eyes.
Had they had too
much wine? That uncomfortable sore head was not welcome at all. It seemed like spinning
around amongst those not so clear thoughts and memories that came and went, in
and out, in and out.
That secret
knocking code at the door. The heart beating fast under the promise of a secret
loving. Secret lovers, sharing love-making like the last living lovers on the
planet and creating inexorable new memories, never to be shared with anyone
else.
How unfair and how
unavoidable. How sad and, at the same time, how indescribably pleasurable and
satisfying.
Looking around it
was noticeable that the bed was totally untidy. Unwelcome small red spots still
stained the white fabric. All that mess should be fixed right away.
The sheets were
immediately tore off the bed and placed into the laundry basket without much
thinking.
That bed should
always be seen spotless and with clean sheets. It would look great with those
white linen with hand-painted red poppies.
***
Seagulls. He envied
those birds. He liked the ones with white bodies and huge grey wings with black
tips. They were really frightening at times when they brushed over his already
so tormented head. All those strange ideas kept tantalising his mind.
Maybe he would be
like the birds, one day soon, when… He tried to divert the thought…
‘Not yet… but soon’…
The sky, full of
heavy grey clouds, anticipated a storm. Another tempest. None as big as the one
that had unleashed inside him, however. He hoped, even without much conviction,
that that time it would be easier.
The iodine scent of
the sea filled his nostrils with life and memories. He felt the wind blow
harder against his body. There was little left… and yet so much…
***
- Promise you’ll understand?
- No. I'll never understand.
- Do you remember that stormy night?
- Remember what about it?
- Can you recall that night?
- Recall what, for heaven’s sake?
- Everything. The pact.
- That damn wine! We were so drunk. It was such a crazy thing!
- It wasn't... or maybe it was, but... it was a pact... of blood...
- You're not going to take this forward, are you?
He looked into that
beloved face, now showing great concern, and considered whether to tell more
than the known truth. He couldn't keep his gaze steady. He looked down, as if
turning inward once again, after so many other times in those last days.
- I will… eventually…
***
The seagulls. So
white and so loose, soaring, with their huge wings, supported by the wind that
blew against their bodies and against the cliff, celebrated, in their own way,
their freedom to fly.
He opened his arms.
He felt lighter, like never before. The sea below roared like a huge dragon…
patient but merciless.
Thunder echoed in
the distance. The thunderstorm was coming closer… but it did not matter
anymore.
***
From the window of
a particular spot in the city, two tired eyes watched a lightning strike across
the sky, followed by the inevitable thunder.
Those same eyes stared
at the small scar left on the wrist by the short, sharp blade of a pocket
knife, which appeared almost playfully in the man’s trembling hand, that night
of heavy rain, like the one that was approaching quickly.
A shiver went up
the spine when the pact came to mind...
‘How stupid!’
That should have never
been agreed to and now there was that discomfort making its home in the worried
mind.
It was a cruelty
not knowing the exact day, not being able to help, not being able to interfere.
But a pact is always a pact. The feeling that something horrible was about to happen
was even more gruesome than anything else. The mind was still processing the
fact and the heart was already reacting to it.
One more lightning
bolt. That one fell very close, by the sound of the thunder that followed
almost immediately.
***
‘Be bold now. It can't be that hard’…
He took a step forward…
and another… until the ground dissolved into ether and his body was diving down
in the open air.
And he savoured the
victory. That war was finally over, before the damn illness would make him
invalid for good.
He would have hated
being a dead weight on anyone’s shoulders.
There would be no
other day like that.
***
