Mostrar mensagens com a etiqueta mysteries. Mostrar todas as mensagens
Mostrar mensagens com a etiqueta mysteries. Mostrar todas as mensagens

domingo, 16 de setembro de 2018

The Big Rocks (Part 2)



- Do you need any help?

- Oh. I hoped you would come. I'm afraid of what they can do to me.

- They will not do you any harm. Why would they?

- I need to get back to the island, but I cannot see the boat around.

- Boat? I don’t know of any boats. Why don’t you go by car or bus? It’s so much easier.

She looked at us with a strange expression, as if she did not know what I was talking about.

'The poor woman must have Alzheimer's. We better try to help her. She looks so old’, I thought.

- Come with us.

I offered my arm to hold and she accepted the help, walking between us, leaning on both our arms. She seemed calmer then. What was she afraid of, anyway?

The men hardly noticed that we were leaving the place, with the strange woman next to us. They were busy with something else.

Once downtown, after crossing the bridge, we dropped her off at the bus station terminal, so she could take the bus to Ribeirão da Ilha, where she said she lived. I paid her ticket, as she did not have any money with her. Before walking on through the gate, however, she turned around and hugged both of us. Then she put her hand in the pocket of her dress and took a small artefact hanging from a fine black cord she had in it. She gave it to her and told her to wear it for protection against all illnesses. That amulet was very powerful, she said.

I said nothing. I just looked at both of them, imagining the things people still believed in the 21st century, but I was glad that she was well and grateful for the small gesture we made. We live in such a strange time. Sometimes I miss that naive belief in witches and other fantastic beings we used to have in the past times.

We stood at the gate of the terminal until we were assured she was safe aboard of the vehicle that was going to take her back home. She kept her eyes on us, as if to be certain we were still there. We waved one last time and left.

***

An old woman, dressed in black, walked the streets of Ribeirão da Ilha, searching for a certain house. She looked rather lost, for the place was very different from that she once knew. In the difficulty of locating herself, she tried to talk to the people who passed her by, but little attention was paid by those who hurried along the streets of the neighbourhood, busy with their own things.  

A young man finally gave her the indication of the street that led down to the beach, where there was an old house, with a very worn out and stained rooftop. The house was painted white, with blue windows and easy to recognize. It was not far, just a few steps ahead of the church and there was a flowered rose bush in front. That description seemed to satisfy her, for her little black eyes widened a little, with a different glow, and a pleased expression lit her wrinkly face.

As soon as she reached the church street, she immediately recognized the house. She walked to gate and called, her voice half-stricken with age and from her thirsty dry throat. Although she had called only once, the door was soon opened and a very pretty girl came out to meet her.

The young woman kindly welcomed the stranger thinking she was a passing by beggar. The old woman smiled at her in a rather awkward way and held out her left hand. The girl returned the greeting without saying anything, but with an open smile, as if she recognized an old friend. The old woman smiled calmly.

- You're one of us. You know why I'm here...

The girl nodded slightly, still smiling, and invited her inside. As the door closed, thunder rumbled not far away and dark clouds covered the late afternoon sky, flashing lightning in the distance.

I woke up with a start.

- What was that?

***

- I've made a research about the witches on the island.

- Ah yes?

- Uh-huh ... It's interesting, but I read that a lot of what was said about them was based on old beliefs that had passed on through the generations and some were not more than stories people tell...

- Like all the folk tales.

- I think a lot of people have been deeply harmed by the wickedness of others.

- As always: evil, ignorance and fear.

- And interest.

- That's right!

- Could our 'friend' have been one of them? She looked rather frightened and afraid of those men.

- I don’t know.

- Why do people do these kind of things? Why would they take pleasure in harming others?

 - You're old enough to know that the human being is extremely complex. Envy, fear and ignorance can cause immense damage. You´ve read about the ‘Dark Ages', haven’t you?

- I read it was one of the worst times in human history. Many witches were burned alive. It was enough for one person to have thoughts contrary to what the Church wanted them to think, to be accused of witchcraft, and to be condemned. I know that many books, with very important information, have also been destroyed by then. Many innocent people were accused, convicted and killed.

- Until recently it was believed that witches were mostly hunted during the Dark Ages, but research and documents proved that it was at the end of that time and the beginning of the Modern Age, already in the Enlightenment, when Protestantism was created. Did you know that many of the things that people asserted about witches' powers, such as flying on brooms and the like, were hallucinations from a rye-growing fungus that would later be used to synthesize LSD? Rye was stored for a long time and fungi grew freely. When they made the bread, they never bothered to check anything. It was a difficult time and they were not going to throw the cereal away at the cost of not having anything to eat.

- Seriously?

- Can you imagine the things that misguided and ignorant minds could do, say and accuse, under the effect of hallucinogens?

- But not all witches were evil. There were those who were also midwives, specialists in herbs, in prayers... Some of our ancestors that landed here, with these "specialties", escaped persecution in Europe.

- I can’t say for sure whether the majority were good or bad, but I know that even today, insecure, envious, evil and ignorant people raise slander against each other and people take those for true facts, without even verifying the origin of the information. Just go to social networks and you have a million and a half examples... and we no longer need bonfires to burn modern witches.

- All you need is a 'click', a 'like', a 'share' or a comment...

- See? This is worse than fire on dry straw. And the fire burns everything in a very short time, because everyone always want to post an opinion about what they do not even know anything about.

- True. It's worse than mass hysteria. I read about the legend of a very beautiful woman who was accused of witchcraft on the island because she bewitched the men and walked alone at night, tied knots to the clothes that were hanging to dry and also cut and tied up the fishermen's nets...

- A beautiful woman "bewitches" men... In fact, it is they who are bewitched, but you know very well how a woman can do a lot of "damage", if she wants to.

She laughed. She knew very well what I was talking about.

- And as jealous women can defame a good girl, out of sheer spite... or men, out of rejection. There is no limit to human wickedness...

***

- It was so kind of her to give me this amulet. Luck is always welcome.

- Be careful with the things you believe in.

- It has nothing to do with what I believe, but with kindness.

- Even so. Be cautious.

- I'll be... Will it bring luck in love, too?

She looked at me with a smile. I just raised my eyebrows in a sign of mistrust and disapproval. She laughed.

- I knew you'd make this face.

She headed toward the beach in quick steps. She was not going to wait for an answer, anyway.

I stared at the balcony as she walked along the beach with her feet in the sea water. She looked like a child. She stopped near the big rocks and stared, as if examining them. Those stories of witches seemed to be the fascination of the moment, and the big rocks, the point of greatest interest.

I laughed. It is always good to have curiosity in less ordinary things and think and draw conclusions about the things you read.

***

We were sitting on the porch, watching the lights reflected in the sea at night, as we used to, when the weather was fine. The coffee mugs lay empty on the coffee table. We were lost in thought without necessarily speaking. Each one occupied with their own thoughts... or almost... with those immense rocks as the framework.

- Do you remember the first thing she said?

- Nope. Do you?

- Of course. She said, "I hoped you would come. I'm afraid of what they can do to me."

- Ah. She was scared, as you know.

- Yes, but I was referring to the "I was hoping you would come." How could she hope we would come? How could she know?

- It was just an expression of what she wanted.

- Was it?

- You don’t want me to think she knew, do you? This story has already gone too far. Do not impress yourself more than necessary.

- What if she really knew?

- How could she know? Did she read a message sent by email or chat? I can’t imagine that woman, so old, with a computer in her hands... nor with her hands on a computer.

I realized that she was not amused by my joke, so I did not continue the conversation. After a few minutes, when she seemed to be thinking far away, she commented again.

- This story still will not let me sleep.

I remembered my dream and questioned her.

- Have you been dreaming? Any awkward dreams?

- Kinda.

- Have you dreamed or not?

She turned and looked at me directly and seriously.

- I have.

I listened attentively to the dream, which was identical to what I had had. Impressive how the stories were so alike, even in the small details. There must be some plausible explanation for that.

We were both impressed by the conversation we had had, we knew the place, we had discussed details... but for which reason the dreams were identical in the smallest detail, I still could not say.

I kept my silence and that was enough to throw a little more firewood to the stake of doubt and imagination. That little smile was a sign of victory, but she thought I did not notice it.

- Don’t you think we should go to the Ribeirão da Ilha and do a little research?

- Subtle... very subtle... but I think we should, yes.

***

- Anybody home?

She laughed at my display of knowledge of the local culture.

- What? Is it not like this?

- Yes, it is. Go ahead.

The old blue door was opened by a very pretty girl. I recognized her the moment she smiled. Apparently we had the same thought, for both of us smiled with satisfaction. The house was the same... and the girl too… just like in our dreams.

We had so many questions to ask, but even before we opened our mouths to say or ask anything, we saw the black-clad figure coming from behind the young girl.

- Come in. We were waiting for you.

***


domingo, 10 de dezembro de 2017

Earworm (Final)


I could not hide how alarmed I looked when he came back out of the cellars of the old building all alone. He did not seem to be surprised in seeing me standing there, watching the gondola coming to my direction. He jumped out of the boat and approached me, smiling lightly.

In my confusion, I could not smile back at him. One thing only was disturbing my mind and I could not think of anything else but saying:

- Who are you? Where is she?

- Don’t panic, please. I can explain.

He reached out to touch me. I stepped back.

- Don’t. Just don’t…

- Please don’t be afraid. I owe you this explanation, at least. Even knowing this might shock you and keep you away from me, I need to tell you what is going on.

I was scared... very scared. I did not know if I really wanted to know what he was going to tell me, but he was right. It was time to put an end to that mystery for once.

‘Oh, my sweet Lord! I need to be so brave now! Cool down… cool down…’

- Tell me, then. I’ve had enough of this mystery... In fact, I’ve had enough of all this non-sense.

He opened his mouth to start talking, but then the loud and desperate sound of the siren of the emergency medical service brigade broke the tense scene off. As we looked at the other end of the Grand Canal, we saw the yellow and orange ‘Ambulanza’ boat speeding up to our direction. They were flashing the colourful lights and blaring their way open on the opposite side, sweeping the other boats and gondolas away at their passage. It was certainly an emergency call.

- Let’s see what is happening. They are going in the direction of the trattoria. Jump in. Quick!

There was a big fuss around the place, with people running to one direction only. I jumped off the gondola and tried to come closer and see what it was. The ambulance paramedics were working on the curb of the ‘Calle Larga’ and lots of curious people were standing and talking about the old beggar woman who passed away, sitting by the sun, on the place she used to stay. The plastic bags were still there, sitting on the ground. The shawl, however, was not beside her. Not surprisingly I was still holding it in my hands. I looked at her face when they moved her and put her in the back of the ambulance and noticed her expression was of sheer tranquillity. I could not believe my eyes. I saw her going happily to the Canal just a few minutes before all alive and walking by his side.

There was no time for her to come back. How did she? How could she?

I asked someone what time it happened, and someone told me the woman was like sleeping, and nobody noticed until she fell ahead, unconscious, with her face hitting the ground. Then a passer-by woman shouted at the sight of the unconscious beggar lady and then the whole confusion began. That was early in the afternoon.

I tried to get even closer, but the security man did not allow me to do so. Then I said I had her shawl and wanted to return it. He looked at me with a funny face, as if he was doubting me, but finally allowed me to get in, when he saw the garment I showed him. I came closer and put the woollen scarf over her body, as if to protect her from the chilly weather. I could feel she was quite cold and probably dead for some time already.

But how…?

That was simply unlikely to have happened. That made no sense at all.  How could that be possible?

I looked around. He was not there. Where did he go?

***

He did not come back home that night. I got a text message, plain and direct, telling me he would have to sort something out and that he was not sure he would come back that night, that he was ok and that I should not worry.

As if I only could…

My mind was filled with dark thoughts, suspicion and anxiety. I had so many unanswered questions I could burst from inside out. I wanted answers. I needed answers. But most of all, I asked myself if I was ready for the answers I could have and that made me even more distressed. There were so many ‘what-ifs’ that I could not even fall sleep. My head was aching. But then exhaustion overcame my concern and my will and I fell asleep.

***

The gondola floated smoothly on the dusky waters of the channel, in the cold cellars of the old building. The old passenger sat in silence on the back of the boat, with his eyes fixed ahead, trying to see a trace of light sparkling in the dense darkness.

The echoes of the rowing oar striking the water was the only sound they could hear, while the trip lasted. The boat seemed to go on a curve and then they saw a hint of light flickering on the walls ahead. They were close. The old passenger felt a strange emotion hitting his stomach from inside. He was not afraid. He was ready… why would he be frightened? He closed his eyes.

The scent of French oak and stored aging wine filled his nostrils up with an unusual pleasure. He simply loved that smell. It reminded him of his younger times, when his soul was free and undaunted. His memory went back to the occasion when he was with his best friend in the wine cellars, the smiles, the subtle touching, the pretending they were paying full attention to the guide, when they were feeling the yearning, longing to be together again, and finally the wine tasting and the laughter, to end up in bed some minutes later, like teenagers rediscovering sex and love… He almost felt his body reacting to his lusty reminiscences.

He took a deep breath, feeling kind of emotional about his whole life, but suddenly straightened up again. There was no time for that nostalgia anymore.

The boat slowed down and finally came to a halt. The gondolier jumped out, tied it up and held out his hand to the passenger, who laid his arthritic fingers in the younger man’s palm. He did not smile. He simply looked at the other man’s face and firmly stepped out. The boat driver helped him out with a serious, but very kind expression on his face, showing there was no need to be afraid. The old passenger stood at the dock and waited. From where they were, they could hear the sound of sirens very far away, almost inaudible, but continuously. The two men exchanged their looks as another character walked out from the shadow he was hiding. His angular face was veiled by the wide brimmed hat and his thin muscular body covered by the dark cloak he was wearing.

- You must follow alone from this point on.

- I know.

***

I heard the door opening and then closing as he entered. It was late in the evening, but I was still awake. It was another sleepless night.  My heart was as restless as was my whole mind and soul.

I just wanted… I really did not know what I wanted anymore…

I was upset. I was angry. I was scared. I was feeling everything at the same time and my emotions were all mixed up and messed up. I wanted either to die or to kill…

- I did not expect you to be awake.

- What did you expect after all?

- I don’t if I know…

- Well, you know everything…

- Don’t be like that. You know that’s not true.

- I don’t think I know anything at all anymore. I’m here, all alone with my thoughts and fears and all this confusion in my mind. Where have you been? What have you done to me? You are stuck in my mind like an earworm and won’t leave me alone and in peace. And in the end, I don’t even know if I want you to leave me alone… I just want to feel safe and loved and alive…

I started crying. He came closer and held me. I wept like I was in such an unbearable pain. He kept his silence, respecting the agony my soul was in. And I was so afraid…

- I can feel your pain and I can feel your fear. Please don’t be frightened… There is nothing to be afraid of.

- How do I know?

- Trust me.

- How can I?

- A leap of faith?

- You’re always pushing me. I have given too much already. What have you given me?

I regretted saying that as soon as my words came out. The things we say when we are angry and anguished…

His face was serious. His eyes were distant. I knew that look very well.

- I’m sorry. I should not have said that. Forgive me, please. I’m out of control. Forgive me, please.

- You know I have tried to protect you…

- From what, for heaven’s sake?

- Do you remember the first time I asked you to take a leap of faith?

- Of course. I was so scared, but faced it, thanks to you…

 - Indeed. That was the first step. I wanted you to trust me and you did. Sex, as love, is more than just pleasure. It is about trust as well and it’s like dying and coming back to life again… Do you remember the second time I asked you to take another leap of faith?

- The day I fainted… yes…

- You did not faint.

- What do you mean? I fainted for sure… and I had that strange dream…

He took my hand and smiled kindly.

- You did not faint at all.

- You’re scaring me to death again.

He looked at my face, touched it lightly and said:

- I know, but that’s not what’s important now. Maybe it’s time to tell you the whole truth now.

I felt a sting in my chest. That was what I needed most, and I was so afraid of what he would tell me, at last.

‘Oh, sweetest! What do I do now?’

- Come with me. The Canal must be pretty quiet by now. It’s late and no one is working on the gondolas at this time of the evening. I’ll take you for the ride of truth… Your last leap of faith.

***

I followed him in silence through the dark streets to the Canal. He helped me in the gondola and we travelled in silence until we saw the old building and its passageway to the cellars. My heart was beating so fast, I could not even hear the sound of the rowing oar hitting the dark and silent waters. It was like in my dream, but it was not a dream anymore and I was so frightened… He did not look at me. Even if he did, I would not know, so dark it was. When we saw a hint of light ahead and the reflex of the waters dancing on the walls, my stomach hurt.

The boat was going slowly until it hit a small dock and he jumped out, mooring the rope to a metal bollard. He waited for me to get up and helped me out of the gondola, seriously, but kindly. If he could really read my mind, he would know how I was feeling.

He never asked me anything, just led me to the dock and stood by my side. An almost inaudible sound came from the darkness ahead and it was only then I noticed we were not alone.

The character that entered had a wide brimmed hat and his muscular body was covered by a dark cloak that went down to his ankles. His angular face was almost hidden by the shadow of the hat, but I could see he was very pale, although quite handsome.

He lifted his hand and with the palm facing up, reached out to me without touching me. Almost unconsciously, as in a trance, I stretched my hand, reaching out to touch his, but I was stopped in the middle of the way by my gondolier lover.

- No. Not yet… There is something I have to say first.

The other man turned to him and said, trying to contain his rage:

- This is not how it works, and you know that.

- This is how THIS works in this case. It’s either this or nothing.

- How do you dare? You work for me. You bring me the souls of the dying and you're not allowed to question the consequences. You know what will happen if you fail to deliver them…

- I do and I’m ready to face the consequences. If you want one soul now, then you must take me instead.

- I have yours already.

- Not completely. I am entitled to bring you the ones who are going to the other side, but this time I can’t do that.

- You can’t fight me. You know I can take you anytime to the other side. Not only you… that one too!

- Yes. I know. I just need to explain everything, and I need more time to do so. Please.

He had changed his approach, as if pleading. He was no longer the brave man facing his fears, but a negotiator, trying to gain some time from a powerful master…

- I see clearly now. You’re in love. You know how dangerous that is. You know how ill that lover of yours is… Nothing can change that. There is no more time to buy.

- There is one thing only...

Then the other man took my lover aside and they started arguing about something I could not clearly define what it was. For some reason, I could not hear what they were saying. The sounds seemed so unintelligible to me. 

When they came back, I felt my heart would burst. Then the man wearing the hat touched my face… and all the lights suddenly disappeared.

***

- I will be in the music you'll hear and that makes you sing, laugh or cry. I will be in the wind that caresses your face and body when you walk.  I'll be in the soul of the Canal... I'm giving my life away, so you can live. He wants one soul. He'll get mine...

- No. I cannot accept that.

- You have no choice. You’re no longer ill. You will not have those blackouts anymore… I traded everything I had for more time for you. But I’ve lost everything else and I still have to pay my part.
  
- I don’t want you to go back to him. There’s got to be a way.

- He will find me anywhere and anyway. I have no escape. This is how things are when Charon wants them. He always gets what he wants...

***

He was no angel. He was no devil. He was the one who traded everything he had... He sacrificed his body and soul away for love. He was taken in my place to the other side... forever... 

He is still in my mind, however, like an earworm, insistently playing. 

“Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay… I want you to stay.” *


***
* From Rihanna's 'Stay'

domingo, 26 de novembro de 2017

Earworm (Part 2)



- Are you an angel?

- No. Not really…

- Then?

- I am here to help you make it through…

- Make it through?

- To the other… Side…

- You’re scaring me.

- Please, don’t be afraid. You will be alright.

- Now I’m really scared. This is getting insane…

- A leap of faith?

- Another one?

He smiled. Funny how his smile made me feel so good and safe. Something in my mind was telling me I should trust him. He kept on looking at me with that kindness clearly shown in his eyes. My legs went weak and I felt I needed to sit. He just held my hand. My sight went black. My mind went blank. Then I disappeared… or everything else did…

***

- Come with me. The Canal must be pretty quiet by now. It’s late and no one is working on the gondolas at this time of the evening. I’ll take you to the other side…

The night was pitch dark, with no moon shining in the sky. He chose a new moon night very wisely. I could see the stars glittering way above our heads, but could not see much beyond our eyes. His hand was clenched in mine. His grasp was warm and firm. For a strange reason, my heart was blazing, in spite of the night being fresh, almost cold. I was being conducted by him through the night, skilfully through the dark waters of the silent canal. The lights of the town were behind us and he was leading the boat to the foggy side of the place. I felt tired, but was apprehensive at the same time, so I could not close my eyes for a second.

I trusted him and his abilities… I had to… but then he led the boat through the cellars of a very old building. Suddenly all the lights disappeared and I could only hear the sound of the rowing oar softly hitting the water around us. I lost his grip and held the side of the boat with both hands. I felt we were moving forward and a gentle e fresh breeze was still blowing on my face. He was silent and so was I, more for fear than for consciousness, keeping my ears in complete alertness.

- Where are we?

- Shush. Don’t worry. Trust me. We’re almost there.

- There? Where?

He never responded. The silence was almost unbearable. I gave up and kept my mouth apprehensively shut along that strange trip in the dark cellars, until I saw the very pale light that was shimmering right ahead. My heart was pounding so fast I thought I was going to have a breakdown. My mind was completely uneasy and I felt shivers going up and down my spine. My thoughts became one, shouting in my mind that abnormal state of dread.

“Oh, God! I’m so undeniably scared now.”

And then it got even worse when I heard him say:

- Don’t be. There is nothing to be scared of.

He did that again. How could he know what I was thinking? I wondered if I would ever know.

Then he slowed the boat down and docked, jumping quickly to the path and helping me to step off to the firm terrain. His hand was warm and mine was terribly cold.

And then he smiled at me. For a strange reason, instead of feeling safe, I felt scared. What would his intention be? Why that strange smile?

My heart missed another beat. Then…

***

- What was that?

- A dream, I guess…

- You guess? You know what it was…

He just smiled, as if he knew more than he was actually saying.

- Man, this is crazy. What are doing to me? You’re scaring me to death.

- That’s not my intention whatsoever, my dearest. Not at all. I’m just preparing you.

- That ‘I’m preparing you’ thing again. Why don’t you say it all? I’m getting tired of this…

He simply responded the most soothing way he could.

- We have already spoken about this.

- Yes, we have, but that does not make me feel better.

My mind wandered in time.

***

- A reason?

- You will know when the time is due.

- And I guess I won’t know anything else about it beforehand…

- As I said, when the time is due, my dear… only then…

- This is pretty annoying, did you know that? And it is a bit scary…

- You won’t be hurt. Don’t worry.

- Hurt? Is that your concern?

- Mainly…

I punched his arm, trying to hurt him badly.

- Ouch!

But he just held my hand, kissed it and embraced me, laughing at my clumsy attempt to harm him.

- You will be alright.

For a strange reason, I felt he was trying to protect me, but could not define of what… or who… so I closed my eyes and snuggled in his chest. He touched my face so lightly, I thought of snowflakes brushing my skin, but so much warmer…

***
- I had that dream again.

- Did you?

He was smiling. I wondered what that crafty smile could mean. He knew it. I knew he knew it. He knew exactly what was going on in my mind… always.

- Why this funny look?

- You know everything. Guess it.

- I don’t know everything. Your impression of me is too far from reality.

- It is not. You’ve always been so mysterious and reticent. You get me confused and then you laugh at me, without any real explanation… and I wonder where this is going to take me, but I suppose you won’t tell me now…

- Maybe one day…

***

- Tell me your secrets… even the darkest ones… you can trust me.

- If you tell me yours…

He simply smiled, pretending he was kind of defeated. He would never tell me any of his hidden secrets. If he could really read my mind, many of my undisclosed wounds were still vulnerable, as far as I was concerned. He could touch them and either hurt me or heal me. It was his option or his call. He had me entirely in his hands.

And those hands… oh, God… they were so caring. His touch was so perfectly endearing, drawing his way around the curves of my body. His lips brushed on mine, then on my neck, my chest and my stomach. He then went down my tickling skin, giving me goose bumps as he kissed his way over it and holding my body firmly in his warm hands, as if to assure I would not fly away from his caresses… as if I would ever try to…

How could I think of anything else, but pleasure, when I was being touched and pampered like that? I could get addicted to that and to him, anytime and anyway.

No. In fact, I could not. The conditional case, here, should not be applied anymore. It was too late for that.

Thinking clearly and plainly, I was actually already addicted to him.

He could do anything he wanted to and take anything from me and I would certainly indulge without any sign of struggle. He was my lover and he mastered the art of seduction, making me forget about everything else when we were together. The world could turn around without us for a whole night or longer, if he wanted to. I was a toy in his hands, accepting openly what I could take from him, as if it was the last thing I would do in my life… Then he would take whole control and make me go to Heaven or Hell in seconds, until the whole world exploded from me and I would fall from the heights, attached to his body and soul, as if we were just one. 

Weary and happy, we would then fall asleep in each other’s arms, sleeping together and dreaming separate dreams.

***

- I have to go now.

- But it’s still early…

- I know and I don’t really want to, but I must.

- I wish you could stay a little longer, sweet man.

- I’m not going to be late tonight. I promise.

His eyes, then, wondered away. I knew that look. My body reacted immediately, getting tense and I shivered a little.

- This is not a goodbye. It is just a ‘see you later’…

- I know that…

He sat on the bed side. My eyes were trying to memorize the lines of his back and arms, while he was slowly getting dressed and ready to leave. I was busy observing his almost catlike manoeuvres, still amazed and enchanted, after so long together, by the way he moved. He was astonishing, in the most beautiful sense of the word. He was not only handsome, but also very masculine. I loved the way he cared about himself and kept his strong body in good shape.

He left a few minutes later. I still had about an hour before my time to get up, so I simple rolled over and fell asleep for another while.

***

I was wondering around after lunch, close to the Canal, half wishing I could see him around, but I knew it would be just a wish, as his schedule was not rigid. It would depend on the tourists and the season was almost over, with the weather cooling down and the number of customers dwindling every day. It was already past mid-Autumn. The air was fresher by the channel and most of the beggars avoided those spots, but needed to be closer to the restaurants and the streets. 

An old woman I used to see by the trattoria was sitting on the walkway by the sun and with her back on the wall. She seemed to be sleeping calmly and warmed up by the light and almost too pale rays of the early afternoon. For some reason I kept on watching her. Her body leaned a bit forward, as if she really fell asleep in the warm spot where she was. I think I was the only person looking at her. It’s funny how old beggars turn into totally invisible people to the passers-by. 

I got into the trattoria and ordered a cup of coffee, then sat by the window. The old beggar lady was still there, in the same position, leaning a bit forward while sitting out in the sun. My mind was almost empty. I was just watching the movement of people and observing the old woman.

A known silhouette appeared from I don’t know where and stopped by her. My eyes brighten up and I was ready to get up and go outside when the waiter brought my coffee. When my attention was away from him and I looked out of the window again, I saw the man was stretching his hand out to the woman, who had woken up and put her wrinkled fingers inside the younger man’s palm, so to get up. He helped her standing up and the two followed the pathway, walking side by side. They seemed to keep silence, while they walked away from my sight. 

I decided I would follow them, just to see what he was doing. It was a mix of kindness, but at the same time very intriguing. As I walked out the door, I noticed the place where the woman was a few minutes back was as intact as if she was still around. Her few plastic bags and an old grey and red woollen shawl were still there. It seemed time had congealed, and I thought something was wrong, so I just got the shawl in my hands and walked away with quick steps, trying to reach them, as if I really could.

They could not be seen on the street ahead, but I followed my heart and the path I thought they would be taking, going to the direction of the Canal. For a change, I was right. By the time I turned the corner, I saw he was helping her into the gondola. They were alone, and I could not see the usual line of tourists forming up by the boat. She slowly sat on the back of the gondola and they travelled through the Canal, before I could reach them. I would not shout, as I knew he would not hear me anyway.

I decided to follow them for as far as I could, even knowing that would not make much sense. My heart was beating fast. My mind was uneasy. I followed the gondola for many streets, trying to be as close to them as possible.

Suddenly they left the Grand Canal and took one of the narrow streams. As the boat floated along, I noticed the place was quieter and quieter. In my mind I recognized the place. The boat went through a passageway and they got into the cellars of a very old building. I thought I saw him turning around and looking back at me, but I was not sure it really happened or if I just imagined it. I simply froze. Then, they disappeared into the shadows. 

I could not follow them anymore, but I recognized that was the same place I kept dreaming of.

My heart missed a beat... or even two.

What was he doing?

And me?… What was I doing?


***