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quinta-feira, 14 de julho de 2016

The Two, At Two


She is late.

I like it better when they come together. The two. As every day... At two.

The other one has arrived already. She wears that almost too tight white uniform fastened up the front except for that top button, which opens over her breast and draws my eye involuntarily to it every time I glance at her, attracting me like a strange magnet that defies me to look away.

As soon as she got in the room, she opened the curtains and let the sun in, like she always does, at this time of the day. The place immediately seems to be filled up with life and light…. Just like her… just like a bright sunshine day…

Since I was very young I’ve never really appreciated to stay out in the sun, but now, under different circumstances, things have changed… I have changed… I have really changed...

Now I wait for this moment of the day, just to have this unfamiliar and simple pleasure...

It's my tea time. Taking into account that lunch comes too early, half an hour before noon, bringing me some tea, at two, is a gift for several reasons. One of them is to have them both giving me attention and care…

She comes at last, so stylish and serene, though a bit late. She is always so well dressed. I love the way she arranges her hair and how she wears that ‘tailleur', which suits her so well… The well-marked waist… The very upright shoulders…

Everything in her is so awesomely remarkable...

Her lips are always so red. Her skin, always so pale. I wonder if that's the effect of the makeup she wears… Those legs are always so firm on the high ‘stiletto’ heels, marking the beat with that intermittent toc-toc on the wooden floor. I wonder if her feet suffer in those so fine and so fashionable shoes. A sacrifice, certainly, on behalf of the elegance.

She reminds me of an aunt of mine, always standing so straight, keeping her looks in an almost limitless vanity…

- Good morning, sweet uncle.

I love it when they greet me like the Spanish do, calling me ‘uncle’.

I consider it a caring and loving way, as it is always followed by a spontaneous and sweet grin. I reciprocate the smile. It's the best I can do, under the current situation.

She respects my will and leaves the cat, which sleeps quietly at my feet, alone. She knows I like having him around and close to me... as well as her... and the other one. Having a bit of their attention and their gaudy presence in the room makes me feel so alive and joyful, besides the condition I’m in…

She reads my eyes. She knows what's going on in my mind. She is aware that I entertain myself observing them, since there is not much else I can do…

I like to watch them both in continuous movement in the room, telling me jokes, smiling and giggling, just like two swallows flying around and making my last summer still so warm and so bright...

Would they pay me the same attention, if circumstances were different?

I suppose they feel sorry for me... and my current state...

Oh, God! I hate this damn cancer! I hate this cursed sickness that now keeps me manacled, subdued and doomed to this bed... my last one... before the inevitable finally comes...

I truly loathe the ones who are overwhelmed by the sight of this sick man in his bed, but taking into consideration the way things are now, I just could never judge these two amazing creatures… nor would I criticize anyone else. Not today. Not now. Not anymore…

Today I just want to look at these two beautiful summer forecasting swallows flying in my room and making my last joy before all the lights are turned off for once and forever...

Tomorrow, at two, the two - the blonde nurse, in her impeccable and well-dressed white uniform and the brunette psychologist, in her especially designed navy-blue 'tailor-suit' - will no longer have to come back here... ever again…