- She was with me. When the phone rang, she made an excuse up. She had to... She felt guilty, but there was nothing else she could do at that time.
- She would not do that to me...
But a twinge of doubt and pain made way in the young man’s mind.
- But she did. She was needy and the opportunity simply showed up. All people are like that. Don’t try to fool yourself... you know it very well...
Misha smiled. And his smile seemed extremely sarcastic.
- Why are you doing this?
- As I have already said, to prove a point. Things and people are not what they seem to be.
The boy was visibly affected by the news and almost dropped the dishes that were collected from the table, a few moments before. He felt lonely, betrayed... and used. A huge weight fell upon his shoulders and he felt suddenly tired. He turned around to go towards the kitchen when the other man asked him:
- Bring me one of those cream pastries that look so fresh and tasty, please. I suddenly felt an urge to eat one of them.
Misha smiled again... a large and misleading grin, as deliberate as his studied seductive performances.
That grin seemed to be a mocking taunt to the other man, who left without saying anything else.
- Fuck the cream pastry...
The uncensored expletive came out of his mind, as he took the dirty dishes to the kitchen of the Café. Someone else could take charge of serving him the cream pastry...
(You damn motherfucker!)
***
- I felt so bad and so guilty. I was weak and let me take by a situation that could easily be avoided.
- You were needy and insecure...
- That does neither decrease my responsibility nor guilt. I was so dumb! Look at what that situation turned out to be...
The therapist tried not to laugh at her argument.
- Blaming yourself will not solve anything or bring anyone back. You know that.
- I know. I know it very well...
- So accept it and go ahead. Concentrate on what is important at this point in time...
- On the death... and the mystery left yet to be solved...
The woman's eyes seemed to take her away from where she was. The therapist noticed a frown, as if the woman was seeing something she had not noticed before...
***
- How did he know?
The woman, visibly annoyed, showed a message on the phone display: “It hurts. So very much! "
- I don’t know. Why do you think I have anything to do with it?
- Don’t be so despicable, Misha. What did you tell him?
- I told him I could stop his pain... if he allowed me to...
- What?
- But he wouldn't listen to me. He said he didn't want anything either from me... or with me...
- Are you crazy or what?
- Why? He was a very interesting young man...
Misha laughed. He was teasing the woman, who seemed not to like a bit of that joke.
- Don’t be disgusting! He is none of your kind!
- Oh, isn't he?!? Are you sure about that? You better not bet he was indifferent to the kiss I gave him...
She raised her hand and was going to give him a resounding slap, but he was quick enough to hold her wrist, before his face was hit. He came very close to her face and laughed. He looked into her eyes and said, slowly:
- I would have as much fun with him as I had with you. Those sad little eyes would have a joy that he had never imagined he could have... but he... refused it before getting to know it.
- Let me go, you pig...! Idiot Asshole!
She lifted her knee in a defensive gesture and hit a very soft sensitive part, right up between his two legs, making him lose control and fall to the ground screaming and writhing in pain.
- Bitch!
- Go to hell, you fucking prick!
The woman went, furious, out of the door. Her chest was heaving, full of disgust and revolt, leaving the offender still laying in the middle of the living room.
When she was crossing the threshold and pulled the door behind her, she still could hear a moan of pain mixed with a laugh of derision, from the blond boy with blue eyes, as deep as the Pacific Ocean, but with the soul as futile as that of a fallen angel.
- You're gonna pay for this...
***
- What do you want here? Go away!
- I brought you a bottle of the best Russian vodka there is. It helps relieving the pain.
- Why do you think I want something that comes from you? Have not you done enough harm? Aren’t you happy yet? Do you have to destroy everything you touch?
- Let me come in and we speak.
He opened his studied smile and held the boy's arm that was blocking his entry into the small apartment where he lived. The other responded immediately.
- Get out of here!
He raised his fist and punched against the void, because Misha managed to dodge quickly and took advantage of the moment almost immediately, hitting the other man’s chest with his open hand. The boy lost his balance and fell over the leg that Misha put purposefully on the way. Half body lying inside the apartment was enough to allow him to enter without difficulty, with the bottle of vodka in hand. The door closed, as soon as the other stood up, still half bewildered.
***
- It's best you come here urgently... I think we were quite mistaken.
- How so? Mistaken?
- The autopsy results are ready. The cause of death was, definitely, not what we thought it was, initially.
- I'm on my way.
The woman hung up and got in the car. She was awfully apprehensive. Thousands of unanswered questions were boiling up in her head, while she was driving, almost instinctively, to the police lab.
Through the car window, the images went by in a live slideshow, while in her mind the impressions, sensations and feelings trampled down, as if to manifest themselves all at once.
Shadows... Children running... Afternoon Sun... Trees... Glass and concrete walls... More shadows... Parked cars... Girls, dressed in school uniforms, laughing out loud... Traffic... Red tail lights... Blue sky... pain... Avenues... Steel, concrete and glass... sharp angles... corners and intersections with red lights... blood... Death... Suicide? Homicide...? Accident...? Why?
***
- We'll never prove it was murder, detective. The level of alcohol in his system was way too high. Do you see this mark?
She nodded, seeing the mark of a hit on the side of the dead boy’s head. The doctor pointed at a large injury caused by a sharp angled surface, like the corner of something.
- He fell, hit his head while falling down and plopped down on the pavement. We found a spot of blood on one of the balconies of the fire escape. By the way, it is more than just a theory. One cannot know, however, if there was any intervention from someone... if he was pushed off the balcony or something. There is no evidence in the body, which shows that. I searched every little inch of the corpse but found nothing. We will never know the truth, from what I could figure out...
But something told her that someone had more to do with the fact, than the evidence could scientifically demonstrate.
***
When the woman got in the “Temple", it was already late afternoon. The light inside the great hall brought her memories of a time that seemed suddenly so distant. A strange nostalgia made she look at it all with different eyes. She was now just a police investigator in search of answers. And she was not convinced of the innocence of anyone... not even of herself...
She went to the bar, in the centre of the place and asked the servant, who was an old acquaintance or hers:
- Have you seen Misha lately?
- It’s been some time since he last came here. Some say he went back to where he came from, but who can say for sure?
***
Sitting by the tiny window, the young man with blue eyes stared out, attentive to the movements on the airport tarmac lanes. He feared that at any moment the police would break into the aircraft and take him to the interrogation room. Although the inside temperature was set to about 21 degrees, Misha was sweating.
When the doors closed and locked and the plane reached a high speed and took off, leaving behind the land where he lived for good many years, Misha closed his eyes and exhaled, relieved.
In his eyes, the image of the young man, visibly drunk and frail, sitting on the floor of the room was still quite vivid. His arms were entwined around those shoulders, while the other cried in anguish, like a child. Misha took advantage of the moment, pulled the other’s body closer to his and gently kissed his lips. The boy did not reject him. He let himself go for a few seconds...
- Your lips are even sweeter and softer than hers...
The young man pushed him away angrily, rubbing his sleeve over his mouth. Disgusted, both by what he had done, as by what he had heard, he walked out of the door to the balcony. Misha followed, acting naturally, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.
- There is nothing wrong with that. It was only a kiss...
- Get away from me. Aren’t you happy with all the harm you have caused? Do you have to destroy everything you touch, to the tiniest detail?
Misha reached out, but the other reacted with violence and disgust. He insisted on approaching the drunk and angry man. When trying to get away without being aware of exactly where he trod, the boy tripped over a small step and lost his balance, banging against the iron fence that protected - very badly - who were on the small balcony. The effect of alcohol prevented him from holding up, made him lose control and fall... down from the balcony of the fifth floor, against the cold, hard cement of the sidewalk, hitting during the fall, a corner of the fire escape. A pool of blood began to flood around the area where the boy's head hit the floor.
Misha opened his eyes. The flight attendant came down the aisle with the beverage cart.
- Do you want a drink, Sir?
- Yes, please. Vodka.
- Ice?
- No. Plain!
***
It was late afternoon. Leaning on the 'guard rail', the woman looked, without actually seeing, a distant point beyond the other side of the river, where a strange building with tinted windows stood, distinguishing itself from the other edifices around. The wind that blew against her face and her hair dried the bitter tears she had just cried.
A gnawing pain grew inside her; mercilessly... the pain mingled hatred, remorse, longing and helplessness in the face of life's greatest nemesis: death itself. The therapy had helped her survive that phase of loss and guilt, but failed to make her stop thinking about the big mistake she had made.
In her head, the memory of that last night was still very much alive. The details she remembered and relived countless times. The memories were as sharp as if they were happening at that moment. She closed her eyes. A slight noise made her turn her head.
- Sorry. Do you know where the “Temple" is?
She turned her head automatically. Almost without realizing it, she looked directly into the young man’s blue eyes. He was standing beside her, wearing a red t-shirt and displaying a strange smile on his face... The feeling of butterflies flapping wings in her stomach, gave her a warning sign she decided ignore.
The man repeated his question:
- Do you know where the “Temple” is?
She simply replied, smiling:
- Yes, I do know...
