Earworm (Part 1)

- Tell me seriously: where did you come from?

- Heaven…

- Really? You could have come from Hell instead and I would never be quite sure of that either. I don’t know how and why, but you’re stuck in my mind like an earworm… I can’t take you out of my thoughts! What are you doing to me, after all? It’s so weird…

He giggled. His eyes were like two stars and I could see them twinkling in the darkness or better saying, I was more feeling them than really seeing them. His hands reached out to touch me, and I accepted his kindness and tender touch on my skin, feeling it so soft and suave like a feather floating in the warm summer breeze and landing on my body.

- It’s a secret.

- And I assume you won’t tell me…

- No, but you can always keep me in your mind, so you can take me with you wherever you go… whenever…

- Wise man… very wise man.

***

He was a different man. Very peculiar. I could take it from the moment I first set my eyes upon him. His handsome features were not of a Greek god, but he had his charm.  His skin was pale but not rosy, his dark eyes were like black pearls, shining in the deep shells of his eye sockets. Although he kept his dark hair trimmed and neat, he was almost bald. He was attractive without being bold or arrogant.

I was a tourist traveling on my own and he was working as a gondolier in the Grand Canal. He told us he worked during the summer to raise some money to cover his studies. He wanted to major in Arts and the tuition was quite expensive. When he was working and acting as a guide on the gondolas, he was very polite and good humoured, but when the situation was quiet, his eyes, somehow, would wonder away every now and then, as if his spirit was longing for something out there all the time.

When we left the Canal, he just waved a polite goodbye and went back to the new group of tourists awaiting in line. I still wandered around for a couple of hours and then decided to find a restaurant where I could eat something, as the time for lunch was long gone and I was starving.  I decided on the trattoria and tried to find a quieter spot near the window, so I could observe the people coming in and out through the dark green painted doors. It was late and not many places would serve lunch as in a normal day. The small and cosy trattoria was quiet, but not empty at all, in spite of being mid-afternoon already.

Coincidence or not, I recognized his handsome figure when he came in the same restaurant, walking proudly and firmly, showing confidence and comfort in being who he was. Then he sat alone, ordered the meal and waited. He did not look to the cell phone, he did not show any interest in people around him. His eyes were somehow lost in the distance, far away from the window. While observing his movements, I thought he was that very unusual person and I decided I wanted to know more of who he was.

I tried to make him look at me, mentally, trying as hard as I could to call him in my mind. He frowned, as if something was disturbing his mind, then looked around as if looking for someone. Then our eyes met.

I felt like falling into an immense hole opened underneath my feet. My head was dizzy, and he was there, looking at me with that unreadable expression on his face. The eternal moment lasted not longer than one or two seconds, but it was as intense as a hundred years long. I tried to stand up, but my legs failed me, and he noticed it.

- You ok?

“You ok??? What kind of English is that?”

- Yes. I am ok. Thanks.

He was standing by my table and looking worried. I thought I was going to faint. My heart was pounding fast.

“What the hell is this?”

- You are very pale. Maybe you should drink some water.

- I’m alright. Thanks.

“He is just a stranger. Why is he worried about me? This makes no sense…”

He was serious. Very serious. His dark eyes sparkled in the afternoon light. I could not help but think of a lighthouse standing tall on the beachline.

- Are you sure you’re OK? I can ask for help.

“Help? Help me God, I want this man!”

- I’m really OK. Water will do me good.

- Ok, then.

He turned around and left me alone. He walked firmly and slowly, away from me. He went towards the cashier and took his wallet from his right pocket. I was still feeling weird. He paid the bill and left through the glass door. I was unsure and insecure. I wanted him to stay, but could not do anything, but keep my desire hidden in my mind. I shouted from inside, knowing my voice would never be heard, either by him or by anyone else around.

“Oh. Please come back and look at me!”

My face was clearly showing despair and impotence. For some strange reason I felt the urge to look at the window behind me and I did.

I had a fright. He was looking at me with a funny expression on his handsome face. I tried to return his smile, but could only show a strange and crooked smirk. He laughed… at me… and walked away, as if he was happy with what he got so far.

***

- How can you read my mind that way? How can you answer, when my lips are still not even open?

- I feel you. I sense you. I read your thoughts.

- You’re scary. Did you know that? I think you’ve put a spell on me, since the very first moment.

He just laughed. He never denied it, but I knew that was not normal.

For what mattered, my heart longed for him. My body missed his touch. My thoughts were only for and about him all day long.

I had certainly been bewitched. My mind-set was totally and unavoidably directed to him. Not that I wanted it to be different, but I knew I was under his will… or spell… completely… body and soul…

And he seemed to like it, although he never really said it out loud.

***

- It’s been about three months we see each other every day.

- That long? I wouldn’t say that much…

- Intensity. This is what I call it.

- Nice. Intensity is good, I guess.

- It is good, yes.

***

- Trust me.

- I’m afraid.

- Just trust me, ok? It’ll be alright. Either you take a leap of faith or not. You will never know unless you try.

- But it’s like jumping in the air and not knowing if there is a net to hold me if I fail and fall… I don’t know how to fly…

- I do. Just close your eyes and, as you said, jump!

I was so scared. I did not know if I should trust him or not, but I wanted to. I closed my eyes and held his hand. Then I let myself go… and I’m glad I did… now.

***

- I don’t know how you convince me, but I’m glad you did.

- It just proves you need to be more daring…

- Yeah. Right.

As usually, he was playing games with my mind. He used to say I had a sexy mind. That was an uncommon thing for me, but he was filling my life with pride and joy.

- You have met lots of different people in your life and that’s certainly a very serious statement, based on your experience.

- This is why I can say I’m serious about it. You ARE special.

I blushed immediately. He simply held me in his arms, kissing the top on my head. I encircled his body with my arms and felt cosy and loved. What a good sensation to feel… but for some incomprehensible reason my heart missed a beat.

I looked at his handsome face and he seemed distant, as if he was in another place… far-faraway. I knew that look.

Then he said, in a grave and very low voice:

- I’m in your life for a reason.

***