“As the dawn sun breaks over sleepy gardens
I'll be here to do all things to comfort you
And though I've been away
Left you alone this way
Why don't you come awake
And let your first smile take me home?” *
(*Home: Jethro Tull)
***
I was walking slowly
along a lengthy corridor with many open windows facing the orchard outside. From
where I was, I could see the tall willows and other trees dancing to a mild
breeze. A blue tit flew through one of the windows and followed me on my walk.
It kept on going on its short flights, jumping from one window to the next one
and always watching me, as if trying to find out what I was doing there or
where I was walking to. I did not talk. I just looked at it, amazed, and it
looked at me, tilting its head every now and then, like birds do, when they
observe someone or something they are interested in...
I opened my eyes and
stared at the bedroom ceiling, smiling silently…
***
He was still
breathing heavily and calmly in his deep sleep. I looked at his face,
enraptured by his exquisite manly handsomeness, thinking how lucky I was for
being there… for being part of his life and for having him so deeply present in
mine.
I tried not to move
too sudden in the double bed, as I knew his sensitive ears would detect it and
he would wake up. I stayed quiet and waited, watching him for a longer while.
It was still very early in the morning and we did not have any real plans,
anyway, to do that weekend, besides being together and having fun.
As if woken by my
thoughts, however, he slowly turned around, faced me and grinned with his sweet
blue eyes fixed on mine.
I whispered, smiling.
- Good morning…
- Hey. Good morning,
my love.
He reached out to
touch me. I held his hand while still on my face, then kissed it. It was warm
and soft. I have always loved his hands and his touch on my skin.
There was no morning
ritual. Everything was as nice and unpredictable as it could be. My hands made
their way on his body, from his head to his back, while we kissed lightly. He
embraced me, bringing me closer and tighter to his strong body. Our legs
entwined.
It was good to be so
close together. Time could stand still and we would not worry about it…
Especially on a lazy Saturday morning.
One of the most
hailed emotions I have always had was that one when we were looking into each
other’s eyes. It was so welcoming and so fulfilling. There was no way of hiding
what we felt, once our eyes were silently saying everything. Those moments were
like igniting a fire inside us and we were not afraid of being burned. That was
one of them.
***
The morning air blew
fiercely against our faces, when we opened the door downstairs, after a quick
breakfast, heading for a stride through the park at the end of the street. I
raised the collar of my winter coat up to my ears and covered part of the face
and neck with my grey and blue cashmere scarf. He smiled as if saying “you
people from the south are so sensitive to our cold air” …
I felt the icy breeze
and gritted my jaw. Despite of that and for a strange reason I was feeling
comfortably home, like never before, while walking by his side.
The sky above our
heads was pretty clear but not totally blue. Some dark clouds could be seen
coming closer from the distance. He looked up and said, pointing to them:
- Either rain or snow
is coming our way… and it won’t take long.
The wintry wind blew
harder through the naked twigs of the tall old trees along the park unpaved
lane. I heard the characteristic chirp and looked up.
- Do you hear it?
- I do.
- Do you see it sitting
on the higher branches?
- Not really.
- Up there! See?
Squinting my eyes, I
looked up attentively, searching for the source of that typical sound.
- Oh… now I do… but
it’s so small…
- They are very small,
yes.
The little blue tit
flew from one branch to the other, as if following us with authentic curiosity,
but never close enough to be caught by untrained eyes.
- It’s the first time
I see one of these. I never thought they were so small… but they are really lovely…
so fragile and shy…
Not to my total
surprise, the sun suddenly disappeared behind heavy clouds.
We were half way from
home, still in the woods and taking random pictures of everything around us for
fun.
We knew what was
going to happen, however. We had nowhere to run to. In fact, there was no use
in running away from the storm. We would be caught midway nonetheless…
Then, almost in a
sudden, it came down on us.
Those tiny white
flakes fell silently upon my navy-blue coat and covered my shoulders with
dandruff-like white spots. They were as light and ethereal as soft moist
feathers, in the beginning, but soon they became heavier and the wind blew
colder.
I covered my ears
with the scarf and then stuffed my hands in the pockets. He noticed I was a
little worried and tried to lighten it up.
- Your first snow
storm…
- Not really, but the
first one I don’t run away from, for sure.
- Do you feel
alright?
I lied, trying not to
look more worried than expected.
- Uh hum.
My jaws were clenched
hard. My face was wet. My ears were freezing. I thought I was going to catch a
cold, but then, suddenly, that thought just vanished away with the wind and
snow. My heart was warmed up by a feeling I could define as of love and
affection.
I bumped on his arm…
intentionally…
People passed by in hurried
steps, trying to avoid the inevitable. We did not follow them. We just kept on
strolling forward at a normal pace.
I smiled at him, who
seemed to be enjoying the whole thing, in spite of showing some concern about
me. In my mind, to be really honest, I was not apprehensive anymore: I felt
great.
He smiled at me. His
handsome face and his unique way of looking at me, as if he was baring my soul
and reading my thoughts, made me feel like the most special being in the entire
universe.
We walked slowly,
side by side, while the soft flakes were falling insistently and playfully upon
us.
I felt the urge to
touch, hug and kiss him, right there, right then. In the middle of the park,
however, where some people were still walking around, it was not very
appropriate. We had to be discreet, so I needed to save my impulses for later.
I bit my lower lip
and looked away. He noticed it and smiled.
We walked along the
park lanes for a while, in silence. My mind was filled with thoughts of unpretentious
happiness. I felt he kind of knew why I was smiling to myself.
For the first time in
my life, I was feeling this special, appreciated, loved and safe. For the first
time in my life, I was decided to share my thoughts and my future with someone
who loved being with me, in private or even in the middle of many people and
without any restraint. He loved my company and my attention as much as I loved
his.
We acted like we had
just decided that we could be and do anything and everything, as long as we
were together.
I had just realized
life could be so simple and so fine and that awareness was amazingly comforting
to me and it felt so freaking right.
It truly felt like we
were in heaven, making new beautiful memories.
