Although it was still day, there was only a
faint light coming from a point in the attic and seen from the base of the
staircase. I had not been allowed to climb those steps up there ever before.
I did not need permission anymore, from
anyone, anyway. I had to face it and I wanted to do it.
The two flight of stairs were dark and
unpolished. The old unused wooden treads and risers creaked when I stepped on
them. I mumbled.
- Don’t look back...
The attic was not as messy as I thought it
would be. It was dusty, but not dirty. I hardly noticed there was a small
square window, facing the south. Light was being filtered through its dusty
glass. Some boxes and an old broken metal tricycle with a stained wooden seat were
on the way. I saw a rocking chair by the wall opposite to the window. Old
furniture were piled up at the poorly lightened corner end. On top of them
there was a dark brown wooden box with metal pin decorations all around its
lid.
He was sitting there on the floor, at the
far end, playing with some tiny toy cars, almost in the dark. Most of those
small cars had no wheels anymore. He was barefoot, wearing old homemade stamped
cotton pyjamas. He did not look directly at me at first, as if he did not
notice me at all. His curly hair was light brown, almost blond, cut very short.
The lips were cherry red and the two little dark red spots on the lower lip
were clearly evident. Those very curious sad-looking hazel eyes noticed me
finally.
He smiled shyly when I walked closer.
- Are you ok?
He nodded affirmatively.
- Can I sit there
by your side?
- You’re gonna
dirt your clothes.
- I don’t care.
- Ok, then. It’s a
shame. My cars are all broken.
I sat by his side and took one of those
toys in my hand. I felt like crying and he noticed it, but I recovered quickly
enough.
- How old are you?
- Five.
- What are you doing
here on your own?
- I like playing
alone and besides I was waiting for you. Will you play with me? For a while?
- Yes. For as long
as you want me to.
He opened a broad satisfied grin, showing
his small well-built teeth. He looked like a tough little one.
- Do you like the
rocking chair?
- Yes, but… you
must be careful. It is broken. It might fall apart.
I checked it and noticed the parts were not
well fixed in their right places, so I tried my best to repair and finally sat
in it. The woven straw chair cringed a bit. It was still a good strong chair.
- Would you like to
come here with me?
He walked up to me and I picked him up and
let him sit on my left leg. He smiled and lay his head on my chest, still
playing with one of his toy cars.
The slow, soft rocking sound of the old
chair and my arms around his tiny body were like an invitation to fall asleep.
He closed his eyes. I could feel he relaxed and his toy fell down from his hand
to my lap. He seemed to be feeling comfortable and loved. I hugged him tighter
and softly kissed the top of his head.
My eyes were wet. My heart was overflowing.
I quietly got up and went downstairs with
him in my arms and carefully placed him in a single bed with a hard mattress
there was in the room below the stairs. I sat on the dark wooden edge, trying
not to disturb his peaceful sleep. His face was very serene. I stroked his soft
thin hair. He took a deeper relaxed breath, almost smiling, as if contented
with a dream he was having.
I got up and walked off the room, leaving the
boy in his bed. I looked back at him from the door.
He was still smiling and his grin was
spontaneous in his sweet happy dream… He was quite a good-looking little one.
He would be a handsome man in the future.
I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. My
journey to the past was over… I was happy I made it.
***
