Watercolour composition: Of fishermen and seagulls...

 

Homeward (Part 1)

As I walked off the front door, I was so distracted I almost bumped into the man who was passing by. He looked at me for less than one second, as if he was either cursing me or intending to kill me, but said nothing. I did not say anything other than murmur an embarrassed “I’m sorry” and went back on my way away from there.

There was something familiar about that man. His pale face and the blond-almost-ginger beard called my attention for some reason. He was a tall young man, maybe around his mid-thirties, his blond hair getting thin on top of his head, nice average looking body, without being athletic, but very far from being overweight.

He was busy with his phone, so he did not pay me more attention than I deserved: a mere few milliseconds.

There was a bus stop right in front of the building and that was where he stood.

If I was not nearly on time for an important appointment, I would find an excuse to come back and look at him just once more and a little longer than I did. But I was almost late…

***

- I feel like crying.

- Why?

- I’m not sure…

- Then who could be?

He looked at me, as if I was saying the worst nonsense of all.  I tried to hold my tears but could not. My heart was, for some reason, so heavy. He said nothing else. He knew me too well.

- Take me home, please.

- “Home is where your heart is”…

- You always say that.

- I do… because I know you like it.

- I do. But today I just want to feel protected. Let me be quietly embraced by you.

He just hugged me. And I cried.

***

- Will you tell me what’s going on?

- I don’t know if I can.

He turned around to face me. How could I explain that what I was feeling was really unexplainable? Would he ever understand that I sometimes was haunted by my own past?

- Do you want to be left alone? For a while?

- No. Not really.

- Then, come with me.

- Where to?

- To the beach. I know how the sea makes you feel good. You need that now.

I smiled and followed the man, who did not even wait for my answer. He was so sure I would follow him, he just assumed that was the right thing to do… And so we drove to the beachside, almost completely away from most of the people, in order to recharge our batteries… or better saying: to try and recharge my batteries.

We walked some distance all along the beach, with our feet in the cool waters. The air was fresh and as the time passed, the temperature slowly went down. It was late in the afternoon.

We leaned on the pier rail for a while, in silence, just watching the sun go down, enjoying the scenery and absorbed by our own private thoughts. My mind wandered away in time.

I saw myself a long time before, sitting on the white beach sand and watching the waves coming up and down for a long while to finally die by the shoreline in an explosion of sound and foam. My mind was elsewhere.

***

Time passed by so quickly. There were some people still walking by and a few fishermen around, each busy with their own businesses and acting as if I was just part of the whole scenery, which I was, in fact… for them. I looked around and decided I should go home, before it got dark.

There were some seagulls still flying above, probably trying to catch some fish, either from the sea directly or from some careless fishermen. One of the big birds suddenly dove into the air, almost hitting my head while I walked past, playing with my feet in the fresh waters. I ducked as quickly as I could but I lost my balance. I closed my eyes while I was falling down, sure that I was going to get all wet. For some reason, the unexpected happened and I neither went down in the water nor did I get wet. I was held in the mid-air.

- What happened?

- I saw it was going to happen and came to your aid.

- Huh?

The man, a tall and handsome blond was holding me tight with both hands. I felt his strong legs between mine and his muscled arms around my body. I recovered my balance and he released his grip.

- I’m sorry.

- Oh, don’t be. I was seeing myself going home all soaking wet. Thank you.

He smiled. I looked into his eyes. They were so blue.

- Oh, sweet Lord!

- What?

- Nothing. I’m sorry.

- Are you OK now?

- I am, thanks. Sorry I disturbed your fishing.

- No problem. I was just having some moments to myself after a day in the office.

- Do you have the time?

- I do… some… maybe… what for?

I laughed.

- I meant: what time is it now?

- Almost eight in the evening.

- Oh. So late. I did not realize it was that late. I gotta go.

He held my hand. I was speechless. For some reason I felt a chill going up my spine.

- Don’t go… yet… Would you have a cup of coffee with me? One day? Today? Now?

- Erm... I... don’t… know…

- Well, then just say yes!

***

I felt his arms around my waist. He pulled me closer to him and kissed my face, in a very natural way. For some reason I thought he was remembering the same occasion I was. Our minds can be funny sometimes. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

***

We decided to have dinner together, at a fancy restaurant downtown. It was located almost at the top of the street, in an old house, remodelled and modernized to fit the needs of a clientele used to the vegan and vegetarian new fashion in food serving. The white and light-blue plaster vine decorations climbed up the walls to the ceiling of the back room. The wooden floor seemed to be still the original one. Double-leaf doors give view to a patio illuminated by carefully chosen old-fashioned lamp posts. A large colourful fuchsia bougainvillea grew on the right side of the orchard, close to a line of white painted heavy cast iron furniture, probably used on sunny days or early summer evenings. 

The special mushroom risotto was exquisitely prepared and served with flamboyant mastery. I detected a hint of balsamic in the rich and creamy dish. It tasted like nothing I had savoured before. A chilled fruity white wine was chosen to accompany the dish and we shared a delicate dessert called “Chocolate Decadence”, followed by black coffee.

We paid the bill and went down the steps of a staircase at the entrance and gained the street. The wind was blowing fresher and we thought the night was pleasant for a side by side walk. We were enjoying being with each other, without talking much. Life can be so simple and good at the same time.

I thought of cats living their simple lives with simple pleasures and desired not much more than that. But we are just humans living like humans the best way we can. What else for a nice plate, a warm bed and a cuddling?

We heard the thunder very close by. I quivered a little.

- Are you afraid?

- No. Not really.

- Good. Then we need to go faster. It seems we’ll have rain very soon.

Before we reached the parking lot, however, the rain fell heavy and cold over our warm bodies. When we got to the car, we were soaking wet and feeling very cold. I turned the heat on and got rid of the wet shirt and shoes.

Then we saw him, standing by the gate and backgrounded by the heavy rain falling down…

***

The Big Rocks (Epilogue)

- Of course he knew it. We were screaming his name all along the beach line!

- But he called him Mephos.

- I’ve made a little research about it. It is Greek and means something like 'absence of light'. It is in the explanation of the origin of the name Mephistopheles, in the Faust allegory. It makes sense when we refer to the cat’s colour.

- He was a very strange man. It's a good thing that our little friend was not taken from us.

- It was not his intention. He wanted us to be scared.

- I was… I am!

- I know you are, but it makes no sense looking scary and not saying what he wanted, after all. I have the impression that we will see each other again.

- Then I hope Mephisto is around. He makes me feel safer.

- He was very restless... aggressive... and he is such a docile animal.

- That's why I want him around.

***

- I’ve found a few things about our four-legged little friend. He belonged to a very old woman and he's been in her life for a few decades now.

- Oh, really? You know they do not live that long...

- Apparently there has been several generations of the same breed of black cat. What they told me, and I do not confirm, was that when the cat got old, she would choose one of the kittens that look more like their father, from the litters of seven kittens, and give him the same name. It was like the reincarnation of the cat-father and thus keeping his job as the woman’s protector. They say that an envoy of the devil is nowadays after the puss, for some reason.

- Does that make any sense?

- I think there's a lot of myth in this story, because it was told by the fishermen and their wives. I think we should go back to Ribeirao da Ilha and find out some more about this mystery.

- Seriously? Shall we really?

- We need to investigate a few things, about a certain woman; a very old woman and her pet... and something else, maybe...

***

- You came some days too late. She passed away on the day of the storm. It was early evening when the rain began. She lay down to rest and did not wake up ever again.

- Oh! How sad. What a tragedy it is!

I looked at my daughter and she soon realized what I was not going to say out loud. The fact was that it happened about the same time and day the cat came into our house... and into our lives.

- A few days ago, a strange man came in here asking for her. He was... scary, not to say worse, but he got nothing from me, as he was too late as well.

The girl described the stranger and we realized that it was the same man we had seen on the beach. He had asked a lot of questions about the old woman and about a cat that should belong to her. A black cat.

‘What did he want from her, for heaven’s sake?’

- She left something for you. She asked me to give that only to you two. It seems she knew you would come after her once more.

The girl then gave me an old ornamented wooden box, which she brought from the room where the old lady used to sleep. There were some very old photographs in it. In one of them, three people were standing, like in a family portrait. On the back, a date, written in permanent ink: 1916. The resemblance was incredible.

- My God! How can this be possible?

- This is a very strange coincidence!

The girl smiled at our surprise.

- The Universe conspires in a very unique and specific way, for certain purposes! Who could question the unquestionable?

I analysed the photograph better.

- Look at the feet of those three people.

- Oh, my goodness, no! It's not possible! It's the black cat!

***

- Something is not right.

- What?

- I don’t know. I feel so sad... I was really upset by the news of her death!

- I know. I was very sad too.

- I remember what she said. The amulet would protect me...

- Be careful! You're going to be too impressed by it and ending up imagining things.

- I confess that photo impressed me quite a lot. Besides the three of us being very similar to those people, there was something else. The cat at their feet was certainly our Mephisto! My heart is so small now. I feel so strangely sad.

  

- It could not be Mephisto, for obvious reasons. Do you still have the amulet with you?

- Yes, why?

- Throw it away. Throw it into the sea.

- But she said…

- You know very well that it is common to people being impressed by things like that. And you're allowing it to affect you. I no longer care about what she said. Just throw it away. That's what's making you grieving that way. It is the power of suggestion.

- We helped her and she gave it to me in return. I can’t do this.

- Then I will. It was a poisoned gift. These are coincidences, nothing else. She filled your head with bullshit and it's getting uncontrollable. That talk of protection, a happy future filled with success and love... you know these things only happen in dreams and do not come without lots of hard work.

She took the string from her neck and stared at it, regretting to throw it away.

I plucked the amulet from her hand and, walked to the water's edge and threw it out into sea, with enough energy to reach beyond the zone where the waves formed. I went back inside, with an air of satisfaction stamped on my face.

- It wasn’t fair. It was not fair...

- What?

She shook her head in a disconsolate way, looking through me, her body slightly bent forward.

- Nothing fair... nothing fair...

I raised my voice.

- Don’t you mess around with it! Ever!

- What? It's no joke.

- Do not do that again! Not even for fun!

***

The fishermen were pulling the fish out of their nets, with the cat sitting nearby, waiting for some small treat left for him. He was the amusement of the sea men, when they got back from the morning work and selected and collected the result of their fishing.

Little sardines or the like were always left over for the cat, which was already growing fat with such kind of care. As he exercised a lot, we were not worried about his weight gain.

As time went by he was getting more and more comfortable with us. We already knew a little about his manias and habits, and many of them were welcome, as they made us laugh instead of bothering us. The cat was already part of our family and we considered ourselves happy with him.

I used to watch, from afar, the affinity he had with the people of the area, without worrying to be necessarily around him all the time. He would always come back to us as the men walked back home talking animatedly. Mephisto would greet me, get a treat, and lie down on the balcony floor to sleep.

One of the older fishermen used to take more time playing with the cat, stroking his head and eventually offering him a fish, which would be accepted with joy. The man, the same who had warned me about the storm some time before, had a special affection for the little furry pet, who returned the caresses he’d get with a pseudo handshake. It was funny, for he did that with one person only: that simple man of the sea. That morning, for a reason I did not really know, I noticed he seemed to spend more time playing with Mephisto.

Something caught my attention as I watched, absently the movement on the beach.

Not far ahead, a silhouette was walking toward the group of fishermen. From a distance, I could only see that it was someone dressed in dark clothes. I was sure it was a man by the way he walked.

The cat seemed to notice the same as me, as he suddenly changed his attention from the group to the stranger approaching. Someone greeted the man, who returned the salutation and then squatted down to rub the cat’s head. The puss refused the caress, becoming untamed and bristly, in a position of attack. The stranger reached for the animal, one more time, but backed away quickly, rising and stepping back. The cat advanced. The man in black, an old acquaintance, withdrew quickly, heading toward the direction he had come from.

From where I was, I could not hear the conversation, if there was any.

The old fisherman took off his hat and scratched his head. He called out the cat, but he did not come until he saw that the man in black was out of his sight. Then he turned around and rubbed his body on his friend’s leg, who, stooping down, took the cat in his lap and came towards me.

I was already descending the stairs, walking lightly towards them. The man greeted me.

- What happened?

- I don’t know if I got it right. The man talked to the cat, calling him Mephos, but the animal didn’t seem to like the conversation.

- I noticed that he was aggressive.

- It was when the man said he wanted to take him but eventually could not touch him...

- What?

- Yes. And I do not know why he left like that, because the cat did not attack him. He only threatened, but something left the man with a look of terror on his face and he left, quick and without looking back.

- That's weird.

- No doubt. Well…

The simple sea man shrugged his shoulders and handed me the cat, which passed from his arms to mine, without protest. He said goodbye fondling our Mephisto’s head and left.

I petted the little animal, which was already purring in satisfaction. That was when I noticed a strange peculiarity: the cat had a well-known artefact, hanging from a black string around his neck, next to the red collar. I knew it was the same as I had thrown into the sea, so angry, a few days before.

Had it been that little object that had scared the outsider away, in that strange, terrified way?

My daughter walked off the door at that moment and approached us, picking up the cat from my arms and hugging it with affection. As she ran her hand over the loving animal's head, she noticed the string curled around his neck. She frowned and looked at me, her expression odd, as if wondering where that came from.

- Well, after all, the amulet was good for something...

I shrugged my shoulders and walked inside the house. There are things I cannot explain, nor will I try to understand.

***

Of Sea and Men (Part 3)

Lying silently on the couch and staring at a non-existent spot on the ceiling, the young man tried to organize his thoughts, after all he had seen, heard and, of course, read. Despite the stillness of the night, his mind was working boisterously, like the teeth of dry and rusty gears, grinding against each other, in a fertile field of conflicting ideas. It was quite late, but he could not sleep, try as he might.

According to what was written in the police report, a witness had seen him being assaulted and thrown into the back seat of a car, which took off at high speed, many hundreds of kilometres away from that place. What happened after then was still unknown.

He was trying hard to remember something, once that Police Report and the information contained in it did not ring any bell in his tired head. In fact, it all seemed very surreal to be true. Despite having the thoughts so uneasy and restless, he kept on trying to rescue anything that he could from his long-term memory. All he could do, however, was to imagine alternative possibilities of what had happened, but without any real basis. The thin, fragile thread of memory was inexplicably broken at some point and he could not find the parts to tie them together again.

In fact, he did not even know who he was. He could be either good or bad. He could have been a victim or he could have had a very bad luck and been on the wrong place at the wrong time. He could have clashed with someone stronger than him. He could have been really assaulted by robbers. Or he could not be any of that, as bizarre as it might be...

The fatigue and fruitless effort made him finally fall asleep and dream...

***

In the only room of the small and modest house, built on the beachfront, the fisherman rolled from one side to the other in its simple, old dark and tough wooden bed, unable to fall asleep. His mind was also distressed, especially after the more informal conversation they had with the doctor. The investigation continued, based on the report issued by the police, but he had a feeling that something was not right. By default, he did not use to trust his intuition, but that time he felt something very strong and could not help but hear that voice in his head telling him to sift through the facts more thoroughly and not rely firmly on all he had read so far.

Of course a possible witness was better than nothing, but he preferred to rely on what his guest could remember in his own time, to make sure they were not mistaken. That situation was increasingly harrowing.

He had developed a wholehearted affection for the boy and find out the truth and regaining his memory, once and for all, become his priorities. He felt that the most likely to happen, once it was recovered, was that the young man would go back to his own life and leave the island, perhaps forever, and that almost certainty also afflicted him.

But he had to think with his reason and not with his heart. As silly as it seemed, however, assess the heart was exactly what he had been doing lately, every time he was alone with his own thoughts. From an elusive fisherman with only the almost imperceptible company of his old silent feline friend, he now had a welcome partner, either to chat with or to help him at work and it seemed fun to both. Although he liked the boy's assistance, he could not be selfish and think about what he liked or wanted for himself only. He felt he would lose his buddy, sooner or later, as soon as things would go back to normal. But he could not help wishing they would keep the friendship, at least for a while.

Like everything else in life, the distance would invariably cool that relationship down and ward off gradually until their contacts disappear for once and for good. He admitted he would really miss the guy, who would probably go back to his previous life, as soon as he recovered his memory. Perhaps he had a girlfriend, a family and possibly a dog or two.

He, on the other hand, had only his hut, his cat and his old fishing boat... and absolutely no other life to go back to. He decided his fate and was living with it. He had learned to survive with very little and did not need more, living just one day after another, without thinking of a very distant future.

He, however, was no longer so sure if that simple and dull life was enough for him anymore. He knew only that before knowing the tenant who was fast asleep on the sofa, he had given up many ambitions and did not crave more than what he presently owned.

But now he wanted to know more about the other man, maybe see him succeed in life, witness his success and perhaps meet his girlfriend, witness his getting married and having children with funny and unruly hair like their father. Perhaps he could even be a dear and welcome friend to that new family...

What a stupid nonsense! He was just an old and thick fisherman with almost nothing to do with the boy’s life. What would be the use of deceiving himself and thinking he could be, in the future, part of his life?

Had he changed so much in those last days? An incident like that should not tinker that much with his routine and his life. He had better face the harsh reality: he would soon go back to his lonely, sullen and distant man’s life with almost no expectations regarding his own future.

The man mocked himself. He was getting old and corny. That withered and hardened heart should not have softened so much, in just a few weeks. He had been so used to his old solitude that he had forgotten the pleasures of a good company. Now, he felt - or rather resented – he would have to go back to being alone when the other's presence, although so recent in his routine, brought more colour to his existence...

He suddenly felt sad. He was tired of thinking. Actually, he was tired of so many things... He closed his eyes, which were getting, for what he considered a silly reason, as damp as the delicate petals of the flowers, which become moist with dew in the autumn mornings. He fell asleep... and soon began to dream...

***

- The water is so good and fresh... Come swim to me.

- You’re crazy! It is too cold!

- It is not cold at all. It is good... Come to me.

The boy was calmly swimming around the boat, challenging his girlfriend to dive and swim with him in that immense and quiet ocean. Although the sun was high, he knew that the water temperature was too cool for her. For him, however, it was perfect. She did not believe him, anyway. She just waved, threw him an inflatable mattress and his sunglasses and lay on a towel on the deck, to sunbathe. He took the mattress and lay down on it, floating serenely between the intensity of the almost cobalt blue sky and the emerald-green ocean, letting himself be pleasantly rocked by the waves and with his thoughts wandering far away. He felt drowsy and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

Suddenly, that comfy swaying of his sleep seemed to change to a more agitated and violent state. The boy turned involuntarily around, lost his balance and fell overboard. The clash with the water made him fully awake and in a complete state of confusion. He felt he was sinking in the cold, salty waters and that his breath escaped him quickly. He tried to swim, but the movement of the waves was very violent. He swallowed water and felt weak. A pain in the back of his head caused him some discomfort and when he ran his fingers over it, he saw that he was bleeding. He tried to stay on the surface, but the effort was too much. He knew that if he stayed with his face in the water he would drown, so he tried to float on his back. The cold water would help ease the pain in the head. He closed his eyes and let himself go for a few minutes, struggling to swim, but the waves were cruel. One of them splashed over him and, swallowing water, he felt he was sinking. He struggled, but it seemed to be in vain. His lungs were flooded and he felt he was too tired to hold on. He felt his forces were waning. He had finally accepted his fate and let himself sink slowly...

He thought, as he sank, he was too young to die... The air failed him. It was death encircling him in a cold embrace, with more affection than he expected. The boy still thought before fainting, that the idea he had of death was of a much harder agony than that...

A flash of light lit up above him, in a sudden and his only thought was that the popular legend that there was a very bright light when passing from life to death, was true. That light, so intense and very strong, hit his eyes in full. At that moment he felt an unexpected peace and a comfortable warmth...

He opened his eyes and saw, through the sun rays coming through the living room window, the familiar silhouette of the tabby, sitting quietly on the faded moss-green window frame. The cat looked out, enjoying the morning sun that was rising above the horizon, on a very clean and intense blue, as only the winter sky could be. That would be a beautiful day after all... and also quite cold.

The young man realized that he had had only a very vivid and detailed dream after all. He smiled, got up, dressed quickly and went to the kitchen, followed by the cat, who rubbed into his legs, almost making him lose his balance and trying to get some cuddling or food.

***

The man got up as usual and passing through the room, he did not see the boy lying on the couch. Surprised and intrigued that the balcony door was unlocked, he put on a coat and went out. The boy was walking slowly, a few meters from the shore, more and more into the ocean. He watched, for a moment, to see what would happen. Despite the temperature of the water, he went on as if it were high summer. He never looked back or hesitate. He seemed intent on something that the other man did not notice at first. He went as far as the water hit him over his chest, took a few more steps and submerged in silence.

A bad feeling went through the fisherman's spine. His instinct shouted, louder than his reason. He got rid of his jacket, took off his shirt and shoes and ran into the icy sea waters. The adrenaline that ran intensely through his body did not allow to feel the cold tensing his muscles. Unable to spot the boy, he dipped into the freezing waters of the ocean. He saw a shadow ahead, looking like the body sinking slowly and swam in that direction, emerging for breath and diving again in order to rescue his protégé.

The man did not think at all. He just acted, moved by despair and the fear of losing his friend to an enemy whose weapons he was unable to fight against. He approached and tried to reach the other's arms, which were stretched upward, already unresponsive. He clutched his fingers around the other's wrists and pulled him up with energy, so that the body would emerge and enable the rescue and also to allow some air get into his lungs. He pushed the boy upwards so he reached the water's surface.

Emerging himself, he put his arm around the unconscious young man's chest, keeping his mouth and nose above the water line. He straightened up and began to swim, taking his friend along back to the beach, almost without difficulty. He laid the man on his back and started the cardiopulmonary resuscitation, immediately, in a desperate attempt to bring him back to life.

- Why did you do that? Where were you thinking?

The man did not understand the reason for such mindless action... And now he could not bring him back to life. He held his nose, opened his mouth and blew some air into, going back to massage the boy’s chest.

- Come on! Come on! Wake up, man. Don’t you die on me! Please!

He repeated the procedure, this time blowing harder in. By pushing his chest with both hands, he noticed a sort of convulsion and the boy coughed, expelling the water he had swallowed. The man shook him and saw that he opened his eyes, confused, as if unsure of what had just happened.

The fisherman raised him, hugging him and, without saying anything, just cried, feeling a mixture of relief and joy. Just below the breast line, a strange twinge of pain indicated that something was wrong.

He closed his eyes and loosened his embrace, feeling a kind of a faint. The effort could have been perhaps too much for him to bear. The twinge became more piercing and seemed to move with a pressure up his chest.

A cold sensation on his nose and a slight and continuous snoring, made him open his eyes and notice the deep green eyes of the cat staring at his eyes and pressing a nail at his chest. He laughed and stood up, realizing he had just had an absolutely unusual dream.

***

 - I had a very strange and detailed dream.

- Is that the reason why you are up so early?

- It's not so early. It's almost time to get out to sea. I have made some coffee...

- I also had an unusual dream. I think we were impressed by the report that the doctor brought us...

- Most likely…

- Do you want to talk about it?

- No, not yet...

***

When they came back from the morning chores at the sea, on a sunny Thursday, a few weeks later, they noticed a different movement on the pier routine. There was a greater buzz than in normal days. The matron was coming by with heavy steps on the wooden pier. Her flushed rosy face, severely hit by the sun and wind of winter, showed evident signs of anxiety. As she approached the two, she said, half breathless:

- I'm glad you came. The doctor wants to see you both immediately.

- What happened?

- The doctor told me to bring you two urgently. Do not ask me more than I know...

But they knew her well and realized that she avoided looking at them directly. She was hiding something, for sure, but she had been instructed not to tell them anything other than the absolutely necessary. The two men nodded at each other and quickened their pace behind the panting woman toward the office in the small health centre of the island.

When they arrived, they were received by the doctor, who was accompanied by an unknown man, dressed in a very formal way for the island routine. The visitor greeted them with a handshake and by turning his attention to the boy, asked him:

- Do you know who I am?

- Nope. I do NOT know you. Should I?

The man smiled, in a weird way. The boy and the fisherman tried to hide the concern that had passed down their faces, when they looked at each other.

The stranger cleared his throat and spoke up...

***